Warrior Cat Clans 2 (WCC2 aka Classic) is a roleplay site inspired by the Warrior series by Erin Hunter. Whether you are a fan of the books or new to the Warrior cats world, WCC2 offers a diverse environment with over a decade’s worth of lore for you - and your characters - to explore. Join us today and become a part of our ongoing story!
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11.06.2022 The site has been transformed into an archive. Thank you for all the memories here!
Here on Classic we understand that sometimes life can get difficult and we struggle. We may need to receive advice, vent, know that we are not alone in our difficult times, or even just have someone listen to what's going on in our lives. In light of these times, we have created the support threads below that are open to all of our members at any time.
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Jan 24, 2021 14:14:36 GMT -5
Watching Ghostcrown walk away from her, had pushed Jetfire over the edge. She couldn't rest, couldn't think, couldn't escape the thoughts that plagued her mind. Her eyes swollen and bloodshot, sunken in from the lack of sleep. As the morning light flooded into the nursery, she slowly pushed herself to shaky paws. Neither of them could keep going on like this, it was tearing both of them apart physically and mentally. One moment he was by her side, and the next he was pushing her away and saying that he couldn't forgive her. This wasn't good timing, not with his daughter's death weighing on him... But was there ever going to be a good time to have this conversation? Every day that she waited the kits inside of her were growing, making her decision on what to do next even harder She had to know... she was running out of time. She found the tom, motioning for him to follow "We should talk..."
Jetfire led them away from camp, before turning to face him. She took in a deep breathe trying to arrange the words that danced on her tongue "Ghostcrown... I need to know what is going on between us" she swallowed hard, knowing that what was about to happen next would either tear them apart or pull them closer together "if you're gonna break my heart, just break it " she looked down at the ground "And if you're gonna take your shot, then take it" shuffling her paws nervously "If you made up your mind, then make it, but make this fast....every day that I wait these kits are growing. I want to give you all the time that you need to make up your mind, but neither of us have that luxuary. You are always thinking of me, but rightnow I need you think about what you want and need. What am I to you? What do you want me to be?" she paused, her eyes finally lifting to meet his "
We can't keep going like this. I see the pain in your eyes every time you look at me, so we need to make up our minds. We can't keep going on like this... If you ever loved me"
He knew this was coming. There was so much left unspoken between them, so many complications he couldn't tease apart, and he owed her an explanation. Words have failed him too many times, and now that the moment was here, he still did not know where to begin.
"I'm sorry," he began softly. It was as good of a place as any. "I haven't been in the right state of mind, and I haven't been fair to you. I wanted to be your hero, Jetfire, but I've fallen short of that. Far short." His eyes lowered, brought low by his shame. How had he been so foolish to think he would escape this unharmed? To think he would either live or die, simple as that? He didn't care about her back then, he just wanted the affection of his clan, and he had brought all of this down upon himself. He shook his head slowly and looked back up at her. She deserved to see his face, to read the emotion in his eyes. He couldn't decipher how he was feeling, but perhaps she could.
Ghostcrown swallowed hard. "Nothing that happened is your fault. If anything, it was mine. But still... I can't look at you without seeing her," he admitted. His daughter scarcely left his mind now. Every dark shadow was her pelt whisking by him; every fragrant scent of prey reminded him of the first time they'd tasted a mouse; the hissing of Jetfire's playing kits just reminded him of how Raypaw reviled him when they first met. "She died, and it was my fault, and she died thinking I was a killer. I'm sorry I haven't been the support you need, but the memory of you is entangled now with the memory of everything else."
Tears threatened the corners of his eyes, and he fought against them, sniffing. "I'm not trying to blame you. I still want to be here for you. But you deserve someone better than me. Someone who doesn't feel so guilty for saving you. I don't want you to be anything for me," he tried miserably. "Right now, I am doing everything I can to be there for you. I am trying with all my might. But eventually, you're going to want more than I can give you."
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Jan 24, 2021 19:16:57 GMT -5
"Stop" a frim command, as her paw reached up to cusp his face "I told you once, right now this isn't about me. This is about what you need and want" she looked deeply into his eyes trying to separate what he was saying from what he was feeling "You have already saved my life. Not once, not twice, but three times now..." her paw moved to wipe away his tears from his cheek. The same as he had done for her, night after night "You said you wanted to be my hero and you are. No matter what happens next between us, that fact will never change. If it weren't for you... neither me or my kits would be here"
She took a step back watching his face carefully "Every step of the way you have been there for me, but it's my turn to be there for you..." she paused, the words catching in her throat "You are in constant pain when you are with me, and it started even before you knew about Raypaw... You have given up so much for me, and even now your still only thinking about being what I need. But what about what you need?" she could feel her hear breaking as she spoke, as she tried to tell herself she could do this... Just stay strong a little longer... "Every time you see me its a painful reminder of your daughter... Bringing up feelings of guilt and regret... What I am saying is that you don't have to keep doing this to yourself for my sake, you have given up enough for me" finally her gaze broke, falling to the ground
"I don't want to cause you any more grief Ghostcrown... You deserve better than that... perhaps it would be better for you if I just took my kits and left... I'm sure DayClan would take us in, Foxbane is there and Glowstar has always been a friend of my mother" the words sounded wrong even to her own ears "I want to be with you Ghostcrown, but not like this. Not when all I do is cause your grief and pain. If you need more time, I will be patient and wait for you... If you need space I will give it to you... If you want to just be friends, then thats ok to. If you don't want to see me I will leave... But don't say the words you think I want to hear Ghostcrown... All you are doing is hurting yourself and me when you do that..."
"No," he insisted. "No, I don't want you to leave. You have to stay here, it's the best place for you and your family right now. I still care about you, after everything. What I need is for you to be safe and happy. What I need is for you to be okay again. If you can't move past this... if, moons from now, Bloodystar is still a voice inside your head... I won't feel happy then either." His voice was low and urgent, desperate for her to understand. Healing would take time, he understood that, but he would never feel like a hero if she didn't recover. He would only know he made the right choice when she was perfect and happy and smiling, with her kits at her side.
Ghostcrown sighed. "I know, I know, that's not the answer you were looking for."
Would she believe all he needed was for her to be happy? He knew, rationally, that he had to want something else. But his life was in ruins. His kits were dead or hated him, he had no clan to call his own, and after the emotional anguish Igziq had put him through, he felt wrung out and useless. He had lost sight of his own goals. They were less important than everything else. He didn't know how to find them again. He could only think of Jetfire and Raypaw, and everything personal was just too hard to focus on right now.
"I'm not trying to be difficult, Jetfire. I just... I don't know what I want. I don't want anything."
If you want to shine like the sun, first you must burn like the sun ~ SunClan High Priestess
6,904 posts
Post by racer on Jan 24, 2021 21:42:30 GMT -5
Silence stretched between them for a few moments after he spoke. Taking in the words that he spoke, trying to detangle his emotions even when he didn't understand them himself, that much was clear "I will stay...." she finally answered. Her voice softer and more gentle this time, as she pressed her nose to his "but the way things are now, isn't working" she pulled away slightly "Right now your focus needs to be on your kits, and yourself. Your family just suffered a major loss, and right now they need you"
She placed her paw gently onto his "and my kits need me..." she looked down at her stomach , trying to hold back her own tears even though her eyes were watering "You heard what Firetooth told me, the litter I am carrying could kill me...and yet...." she looked up at him "I can't bring myself to end it. Even knowing who there father is, I just can't..." she could feel her paws trembling "but this path isn't going to be easy. My body can't handle any more stress. If I am going to have these kits, all of my attention has to be on recovering, growing stronger, and getting ready for the kitting. I can't afford any distractions..."
"Ghostcrown... I don't think either of us is ready for any kind of relationship right now. Perhaps it would be best if you and I stay as friends... at least until the kits are born. I promise I will keep trying to get better, but you have to do the same. You are hurting so much, and you need to deal with what is going on in your own life before we can even think about starting a life together..."
Ghostcrown's paw trembled beneath hers. Was this the end? He had fought long and hard to be here. It was only recently that he had begun to doubt exactly what he wanted from her - only now that they were living in the clan together, now that he was looking after her and her kits. Before, he would have been satisfied to hear her say those words. He only ever wanted to be her friend, so why did it feel like he was losing now?
But he knew she was right. He barely had the strength to be strong for his family, he couldn't devote himself to her too. They had their own battles to fight. Ghostcrown would stay by her side, but it wouldn't be the same anymore.
"I know," he whispered, hanging his head. "I understand." He shook his head and looked back up at her, his voice becoming firmer as he drew on his dwindling reserves of energy once more. "I'll be there for you still. I'll help with the pregnancy as much as I can. I'll look after your kits any time you need me to. But I'll be with you less... with my kittens more if they'll have me." Ghostcrown wasn't sure they wanted to see his face ever again, but he had to try.
Ghostcrown shifted closer and rested his chin on the top of her forehead, letting out a long sigh before he pulled away again. "I'm happy to be your friend, Jetfire. Don't wait for me. If there's someone else... you deserve that." He smiled a little, reassuring. He wasn't okay. But maybe he would be.
