Warrior Cat Clans 2 (WCC2 aka Classic) is a roleplay site inspired by the Warrior series by Erin Hunter. Whether you are a fan of the books or new to the Warrior cats world, WCC2 offers a diverse environment with over a decade’s worth of lore for you - and your characters - to explore. Join us today and become a part of our ongoing story!
News & Updates
11.06.2022 The site has been transformed into an archive. Thank you for all the memories here!
Here on Classic we understand that sometimes life can get difficult and we struggle. We may need to receive advice, vent, know that we are not alone in our difficult times, or even just have someone listen to what's going on in our lives. In light of these times, we have created the support threads below that are open to all of our members at any time.
Everybody has demons that they must face. Some demons are worse then others though. As somebody who has experienced it first time, sometimes just talking about our struggles and urges helps to ease our tormented mind. If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts or self-harm please feel free to use this place to talk.
POSTEDMar 14, 2019 12:31:05 GMT -5 TO Personal Support
this is probably not the place for this but alas we dont have a mental-illness non-self-harm-suicide related thread this will have to do.
my symptoms are getting really really bad to the point where they are making existing as a person like pretty hard some days.
for those of you who don't know, i have borderline personality disorder. if you're interested, here's a link that gives some basic information on it. it's lengthy, you don't have to read it, but its there if you want it. in a lot of ways, bpd is similar (although not identical) to bipolar disorder. it experiences the same mood swings, similar like suicide risk, etc., except that bpd also adds like patterns of unstable relationships, high levels of self-critique, etcs. where bipolor disorder is a mood disorder, borderline is a personality disorder, which means its characterized by ways of thinking / behaving.
symptoms of bpd include impusiveness, rapid, intense mood change, unstable sense of self, engagement in risky behaviors, fear of abandonment, chronic feelings of emptiness.
and like normally, i can manage symptoms. i've basically learned to like put my mental health in a box and just ... ignore it.
but lately its getting harder and harder.
my mood changes are vicious. i'll go from being perfectly fine to so angry, to just like so sad, to euphoric in a succession rapid enough to give me whiplash. and those are days that i feel anything at all. some days, i don't. i sift through the world completely empty. ike i'm in a fog, unsure if anything is really real. i can't keep friendships alive for the life of me. i go from the extremes, putting people on pedastools to wanting them completely out of my life. right now, i'm in a period of the latter, and let me just say, it's so lonely. but at the same time, fixing the friendless problem doesn't seem worth it either, because i just keep getting hurt. there are days where the urge to self-harm is sickening. the calorie calculator is constant in my head, yet binge eating is just as much of a problem as starving. i don't know who i am or what i'm doing in my life.
in class, we are talking about disability. jae suggests, and so does our reading, that mental illnesses are disabilities. it's hard to think that me being a whine ass is even in the same category. jae suggested also that like when you get mental illnesses in the personality or psychotic classifications, we see those folks as broken. i tell my OCD roommate that she's not broken, but at the same time, it's hard not to think of myself in that way.
idk. life's been super hard. i don't even know why. i'm just really struggling right now. i was looking back at one of my poems from last year around this time, and one of my stanzas was about watching ducks on a pond. the last line of it was "sometimes, i wish i was a duck, so i wouldn't have to be me," and idk, that just really resonates right now.
none of this even makes sense or provides any sort of productive, useful point of analysis that could help me get better. i just needed to vent because i skipped class to go to a rescheduled advising appointment to make up for the one that i completely forgot about this morning and had a panic attack over and like skipping class was giving me anxiety on top of the fact i've alreayd had a panic attack today and also i just... idk needed to vent.
also i just want to say how par for the course it is that i'm the first one posting on this board
POSTEDJul 4, 2019 0:52:52 GMT -5 TO Personal Support
I’m intoxicated and will probs regret this tomorrow when im sobered up
But the amount of times I’ve been suicidal since my mom died is astonishing. Honestly I’m surprised I haven’t done it yet. Actually I’m surprised I haven’t killed myself after 22 years of this crappy lifestyle. I mean tbh talking about this on a cat site isn’t the best place to put it, especially since yknow I’m intoxicated and I’m sure a good portion of y’all don’t really like me as a person. I mean I don’t really like myself so I don’t blame you.
I miss her, and I count the days since she’s passed. It will be 4 months on the 31st of this month. This is the first Fourth of July without her. She won’t get to see the fireworks this year. It really sucks that she won’t get to.
Honestly, I’m holding a bachelors degree in psychology now. You’d think I’d have learned how to cope after 4 year of schooling, but I haven’t. I thought I was kicking depressions butt, but honestly, I’m not too sure anymore. I can’t help but feel if I wasnt around people would be better off. Even my family is tired of my shifts in mood these past few weeks. I can tell they don’t want to be around me.
POSTEDAug 23, 2019 0:32:57 GMT -5 TO Personal Support
Nothing I'm about to say here compares to what others have gone through andor are going through but it needs to be shared so it's at least not trying to eat me alive like it has been these past couple of weeks? Months? I lost track honestly.
I have this bad habit of thinking about the past for some reason, like the word choice I use with people. I take that kind of thing to heart and it messes with me mentally. I feel like trash half the time because I'm too busy thinking about it all the time. I wouldn't say I feel suicidal or anything, I just wish there was a way to not feel this way half the time. I think I care too much and that's why? If I try not caring as much I notice I become distant and cold. Everyone, no matter the relationship, gets treated the same way. I dont have an in between I guess that's what it's called.
Anyway, that's about as much as I'm willing to type on a mobile device
Hey, Pluto! I'm sorry, I just saw this! I hope your feeling better! I get that way some times too. I hurt people in the past and I think about it every day. But I use that to better myself. I think to myself that I dont want to be that person anymore so I use that to pay attention to how I talk to people. If I'm in an argument with someone, I remind myself to be kind despite how angry I get because I will get the best result from being kind. At least, that's what I do online lol! Cant say much for how I act in person. When I get angry in person, I usually have to walk away or I will snap. That's just what I get for being a ginger lol! I'm a ginger snap XD but when I'm not angry and someone else is upset, I will usually try to defuse the situation first. And then afterwards, I feel better because I didn't say anything to that person that I regret.
Even if you aren't angry, try practicing being warmer. More open and welcoming. You can care about people but dont care so much that you sink down into depression. Maybe if you try talking to people warmly, you will find a different reaction from people. I know a couple people on here, not going to point fingers, that come off as cold, distant, or rude but they aren't trying to be. They just dont know how to talk to people. I'm much better at talking to people through messaging than I am in person XD I'm usually really shy and awkward in person but on a screen, I'm bubbly and warm! I mean, sometimes if im having a bad day, some people can tell the difference in how I talk online but I try hard to hide the pain from the real world when I get on here to chat!
But just practice on how you talk to people and you might find it to be a lot smoother for you! I know that talking the way i do to people online is much smoother for me and fills me with a good feeling! Try practicing it and as you start getting different reactions, it might make you feel better and not regret the things you say or the way you say them!
hey guys, sorry i disappeared for a month or so (or longer), admittedly it hasn't been very easy for me lately with classic. i feel... lonely. maybe this is all in my head and not true, but... i don't know, i feel like it is. i really miss classic. i miss having fun, plotting, coming up with characters i'm excited about, playing, partaking in events... just being a member and enjoying myself. i've talked to a couple of people over the past few months and it definitely seems like it's more of a me thing, nobody else really experiences the sense of being an outcast and being alone, so maybe it's just me creating a situation for myself that doesn't exist but.
i feel like i don't have anyone to talk to anymore. which really doesn't help my depression. the only time i ever felt like i had friends i could talk to and hang out with and just... have fun with was when i was on classic. when i'm on classic.
but i also always feel like i have to put on this mask and be the bright, bubbly person i was 5 years ago.
like if i'm just myself, warts and all, nobody will want to be my friend. my genuine friend and be there with me throughout it.
maybe that's because i've pushed myself away from having friends.
or maybe it's because nobody wants to be my friend.
i've tried finding other places to play. i've tried creating my own sites, thinking that would solve it. i've joined other warriors sites, both on proboards and jcink, thinking that if i tried hard enough i could be enveloped in their community and have that feeling i had 5 years ago.
i don't know what's so special about 5 years ago. maybe it's because i was more secure in who i was as a person. i was active, i was optimistic. maybe it's because 5 years ago i was 18 and not riddled with anxiety, paranoia, lack of self-confidence and fear of abandonment.
which is honestly hilarious because i've never been abandoned by anyone in my life, so i'm not sure why i have that.
classic is it for me. which is... really unfortunate, actually, because every time i come up with a character idea, i want it on classic. every time i come up with a plot, i want to have it on classic and play it out on classic and invite classic members to play it out with me. but i'm also so completely absorbed in this feeling that i keep myself from doing it because... who's actually going to want to do it with me?
i don't know. i really need someone to talk to. i need a friend. i feel like anymore now and everyone in my life is so preoccupied with what they're doing in their life that they don't have time for my whining. i don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it because... in the end i feel like what they're going through is more important than what i'm going through. so i suffer through it on my own, telling myself it'll be better if i just find a community that can fix me.
but i don't know what there is to fix. and what really frustrates me is that this is just a cat site, and yet almost every day i long for it. mostly for the connection and friendship, but also because by god i just really love playing a cat and the stories that comes with it. warriors is nostalgic for me and classic is especially nostalgic for me.
to be honest this was just going to be a simple 'hey, sorry i did my trademark thing and disappeared again! look forward to the next time i do it!' thread but i wound up putting it here because i thought the content that wound up erupting from me like word vomit would be too dark for somebody to innocently stumble upon.
after so long, i feel like i just need to get it out in the open and for somebody to read it and understand what's going on inside my head and heart because other than the two of us, no one else knows. especially in real life. i struggle with depression so bad i find myself crying when i wake up in the morning and crying before i go to sleep at night, but i don't feel comfortable telling anyone in my family because, again, i feel like the problems they're facing are so much bigger than my own. so i push it away.
i really miss classic. i miss the clans i led, i miss the rev groups especially. i miss my friends. i miss the characters that have literally embedded themselves in my heart, like my adorably grumpy ghoulmask and my sarcastic sassy boi labyrinthiansoul. i can't play them anywhere else because they belong here.
i miss not feeling alone. it's such a soul-crushing, freezing feeling that it leaves me wishing i had hot cocoa and a warm hug from the people that would make the most difference: the people on classic.
i don't know. i know there are a lot of problems surrounding my existence. i know i've made a name for myself and not a very good one. i have a reputation of disappearing without a trace for months on end only to come back and pretend it's all okay. i have a reputation of starting flame wars only to try and reconcile and pretend it didn't happen. in my mind, i'm no better than any of the other cyber criminals you may stumble upon or hear of, and i have a feeling in your mind you see me as that too.
i've come to the realization that i'm too... old and too used to a certain way of roleplay to just move on and join another site and mold myself to that way of life. i'm so used to how classic works that going to another site just feels foreign and unwelcome, no matter how much they send me smiley emotes and hugs. the discord chats are too busy, too many channels and too confusing for some old roleplayer like me. and classic's clans... no one can recreate classic's clans. i mean hey, i tried creating classic-esque clans on immunity to give myself that same feeling and by the time the site was done, i wanted nothing to do with it because it wasn't classic.
i don't want to face the idea that i should just hang my hat and call it quits because i'm 23 and the only friend i have in real life brings up my ex-boyfriend to hurt me every time we're on a call or hanging out. the only true friends i've ever had is on classic and because of my incessant need to rise through the ranks, taste that delicious taste of being a deputy or leader of a clan again, of being able to help out, of feeling needed and wanted clouds my judgment and sends me back on that roller coaster ride.
i don't know what to do anymore. how do i make this feeling of being unwanted on classic go away? i can't get the thought out of my head that when i'm gone, life for classic's community is better. that i'm not an asset or benefit or hell, even a friend to classic's community but the opposite in every way, even though i don't want to be, because of either prior choices i've made or just... because that's who i am.
do i even have any friends on here anymore? have i turned them all against me? i still talk to one or two on skype, but i can't shake the feeling that it's more out of polite regard than friendliness that keeps their line of contact open for me...
i don't know where to go if it isn't classic. i thought about asking people here if they have sites that they're on, if i could try and find some warmth and sunshine in their presence even if it isn't on classic, but i also always get this feeling, every time i leave the site or am absent for a while, that if i'm not on classic where they are... i'm no longer of any worth or interest. there isn't that barrier and common factor between us to keep the friendship and communication going, so it just stops and then i'm left thinking i've made a mistake because i no longer have any friends that want to talk to me about anything other than classic.
i know this is all a disorganized mess of feelings and thoughts but i don't know who to talk to or if i can even talk to anybody. this thread's the only thing i have to just let myself be heard, even if you're the only one reading it. even if i've made you angry halfway through this entire barrage of information. maybe you've already clicked away, having had it with my whining and incessant 'pity me' pleas. and if you're still here, i hope you see this for what it is: a cry for help.
even if you can't help, just knowing you're here reading this makes me feel a little bit better. a little less lonely. there's still that voice in my head that says 'nobody's here reading this, they saw your username and steered clear of that as though you were a parasite' but for my own sanity, i'd like to think there's at least one person out there: you. whoever you are, wherever you are, please know that i appreciate you being there and i love you more than anything for being there. even if that's just to read this awfully organized entry.
y'know, since you're here, i might as well start talking about the positive things i've been thinking about when it came to classic. like, the other day, i was watching The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning don't judge me, i paid for a year long subscription to disney+, it's only gonna get worse from here on out and i was like 'wow these are some great names, y'know where these would fit really well? PI' and i was like 'wow it could be a whole family, i could get inspiration from their personalities, we could come up with a big story for them!'
at least that was until i remembered that, ahem, i'm me and me on classic winds up being everything i talked about above.
then i was watching Frozen and Frozen II i'd like to think i'm olaf but i'm more like elsa in her emo stage, don't let them in, don't let them see and i was like 'y'know what would be cool? if we did a whole frozen family in winter, with the elsa character having this like infatuation with snow'
i keep coming up with all of these character names that i really want to use and put in different places, like i know exactly where they'd go and they'd fit perfectly, but i keep being held back by everything i explained above.
i don't know. before long i'll probably have a notebook filled with ideas i have for classic and characters and stuff specifically for classic but... it probably won't happen. i don't know. i just...
even if i create characters and post threads, who'll respond? who'll want to step out and be associated with me?
i'm a plague. like... like, i'm that terrifying terrible thing everybody's been talking about in the world today and everybody needs to stay six feet away so they don't get infected. i'm a virus.
i miss having friends and being happy and enjoying myself and feeling like everything's gonna be okay.
sigh i just miss classic.
also i didn't know where to put this because there's no 'depression support thread' or 'i feel like a pariah support thread', so i put it here. i'm not exactly a threat to myself as far as self-harm or suicide goes, but i do feel hopeless.
POSTEDSept 2, 2020 15:47:56 GMT -5 TO Personal Support
Have you everything just had everything in your life is fall apart at once? Like everything is crashing down. Because honestly I do. That’s how I currently feel... I can see the pieces of my life crumbling around me. Blowing away like dust on the wind. I’m a senior in college and I’m terrified. Terrified of what the future looks like. Terrified because I know what happened when I was in 8th grade and a 12th grade.. My last years of school that always are the stepping stones onto the next chapter of my life. They are always filled with heart break of some kind. I live on my own and barely make enough money to scrape by but don’t have the time in my schedule to get a second job. Sometimes at the end of the month I skip meals because I know I can’t afford to feed myself a healthy 2 meals a day. So I ration my food. I am juggling 18 credit hours and a job. On the weekends I am the sole caretaker of a grandparent with Stage 5 Alzheimer’s. But I know other people have it worse so I try to keep quiet because I know I bug people and that a lot of people here don’t like me. Because I know that my problems annoy my friends in my personal life and the people on here as well. So I try and keep quiet and keep them to myself. But I feel like I’m drowning and I have since yesterday.
My grandfather might have cancer...
Words I never thought it would hear. Words that I didn’t think I would hear for another 20 years if ever.
Words that terrify me because I grew up watching cancer rob the lives of my other grandparents and my aunt along with countless other family members.
Words my mother called me hysterically crying yesterday and I’ve been numb to the information ever since. All I feel is numb. I don’t feel happy, sad I just don’t feel anything. If it was Sunday I would have drank myself to sleep last night. To get away from everything. To numb the pain that I’m feeling from this information. I don’t feel suicidal so don’t worry I won’t off myself. I haven’t been suicidal since high school. But I do feel like I’m drowning at the moment. I didn’t know where to post this. There isn’t a depression thread so I guess this is close enough.
POSTEDApr 2, 2021 9:46:37 GMT -5 TO Personal Support
time to journal on classic because journaling just to myself feels dumb. i've avoided it through the worst of my bipolar breakdown of march, but the depressive episode is getting bad and i feel like i can't talk about it with anyone because other people are going through it to.
i guess i can talk about that first. i guess a good way to start that is with a disclousure that i do not believe that empaths exist. i think it's a decent human being move to be empathetic, but as for like the label of empath as like an identity is actually really harmful. if anyone wants to hear a hot take about it, i can explain more, but tldr ; like extreme levels of empathy is often a maladaptive coping mechanism to ensure the boat doesn't get rocked / avoid the perpetuation of abuse as much as possible. people call me an empath. they tell me i'm a good listener, that i always know exactly what to say, that i'm wise beyond my years, and lately, it's really been frustrating me. it's not a good thing that i'm an "empath"! it means that i constantly put others emotions before mine. on a normal day, this is fine, because i normally compartmentalize my own issues so that i can help others deal with their own. this isn't a normal day, though. i'm passively suicidal and the absorption of other emotions is only amplifying this. i love my best friend to death, i really do, but she just got out of the hospital and she's ... going through it. she started her own mental health crash the day after the last time i saw my ex, and i've tried so hard to be there for her. i've ignored the ways that her talking about self harm has planted the idea in my head again. i pretend that conversations about not eating don't make me think, hey, i'm already not eating, what if I made it a thing again? but, my own pain has been in the background. i've tried to do the good empath thing, to just ignore it, focus on the other person, but the hurt is demanding to be felt, and i've also taken in all of her negative energy on top of my own terrible brain, idk. also, on ash pt 2, i know deep in my heart that i need to move home. i need to move home as soon as possible. i'm not happy at all here. my connection to the university is gone, passing my ex's house every day only amplifies my anxiety around my ex (they're doing really poorly mentally too but we are on a no contact so i can't reach out even tho i want to so bad). the only time i feel... less is when i'm at home. but, i feel like i can't leave yet. i'm only here until may, and ash needs someone. i feel like i have to stay here so that she has someone, but what if it continues to destroy me?
i bought new razors yesterday not with the intention of self harm or anything, but because i genuinely needed a new razor. but, i bought a three pack, and my brain keeps telling me how easy it would be to deconstruct one of them. i have the tools, i've done it w o tools in the past, god it would just be so much easier. i could get myself out of this, i know that i can. but i also know that if i self-harm, i break a year and a half without doing it. my psychiatrist yesterday said i was on the road to wellness and recovery, and i just ?? how ?? am i that good at like putting on a face for others ? how do i avoid this ? idk. i'm just really struggling rn and it feels like the struggle isn't going to end. i know, logically, it will. in august i start the biggest adventure of my life. i just have to get there. my brain tells me self harm will get me to august, because it'll help me cope with the emotions and once they're coped with it will be fine ! but i know that isn't true, so instead i get to just be exhausted and sad all the time. idk. i think i'm going to stop there so i can do this ~*self compassion*~ module my therapist is forcing me to do