When he was little, his world was tinier than him with familiar stoic faces. The first emotion he could really remember feeling was resentment for his sister. His dad had a way of mixing lessons into his fairytales and stories and from it he learned that she-cats were better than toms and in time Zakiyyah proved that fact to be true. She was taller, well liked, and better performed than he did. Zakiyyah got to be a Spy while his dad made him stay a tyke on account of his smaller size. When he was a cadet he stayed a cadet far longer than average because again, he wasn't fit for the job, not like Zakiyyah was. Everything in his entire world felt stacked against him, every moment in his tiny dark life felt like someone was judging him except for when he was with his mom. His mom was his only friend, he cherished every kind word she said to him, all the times she held him close.

Now things almost felt right. He could love himself without resenting others, he didn't have the desire any longer to be well liked by everyone, and didn't have an urge to prove himself like he had before. However things weren't entirely right between him and Shule and he wanted to be a son that she could be proud of. She was the only person he wanted to prove himself to, which was precisely why in the dark of th night he was carefully treading across the snow into Renegade Regime.

Everyday he woke up in the Regime felt off, like he didn't recognize the place as home no matter how familiar the scents got or how inviting the Regime became. It was weird looking back into his childhood now, the things he was too young to notice back then. He always remembered feeling that his family was perfect. His dad took care of him and his siblings while his mom worked hard to support SunClan with her own clan. Now that he was older he recognized that his parents were placed into an arranged marriage, memories he would never get back were wiped by the the leader he followed, and him and his siblings were always a plan b away from having their lives threatened so his mom would cooperate. Everything about his reality had been broken and he didn't bother trying to put the pieces back together. Instead he picked up the pieces that mattered. Taking care of his dad, always being there for every family members, finding love, these were the real key pieces of his personal belief system.

Still, ever since moving to the Regime the pieces felt light in his paw. He was here with his family, but he still hadn't talked much with his parents. He wanted to change that today though. "Commander Shule," Dusky said, stepping into the den, "May I interest you in an evening stroll?"