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(HH32597). The muscular grey and white apprentice padded around the camp in search of his mentor, his grey tail twitching back and forth. Jaypaw had been in an incredibly odd mood since being rescued from his mother and her evil plan, which had caused the death of his sister, Vanillapaw. In his attempt to shut out his grief he'd turned slightly cold and abrasive in the days since her passing. "Bluepelt?" Jaypaw called out, hoping Bluepelt would hear him. Jaypaw was hoping to do some battle practice or even hunting at this point if it meant getting out of camp and burning off some anger.
(GIDGETJOY)
Dear Starclan, how did it all come to this? It seemed like just in the span of a few days, his entire world had been completely flipped upside-down. Ever since the kidnapping and Vanillapaw's vigil, Bluepelt had tried to deal with it all the only way he knew how; not saying anything. He had been purposely neglecting his warrior duties, and actively avoiding his sister, nephew, and his apprentice. His apprentice. Despite the monster that Yellowmoon was, she had been very clear in what she had told him; while the other two had belonged to Ghosttoad, who had accepted her company in little more than a passing fling, Jaypaw was his. His kin. His SON.
Bluepelt visibly flinched from his nest in the warrior's den as he heard the young tom calling his name. How was he supposed to tell him? Could he? Should he? Jaypaw was obviously upset from his sister's death, if he told him the truth, would he be blamed for what happened to her? He didn't know. He didn't know what to do now.
But he had to do something. He couldn't just keep pretending. He couldn't run from his problems anymore, like he had with his sister so long ago. It was the reason he nearly lost her.
"Jaypaw?" He called out, standing and cautiously leaving the den. "I think we need to talk."
(HH32597)
Jaypaw's gaze landed on Bluepelt, but remained mostly blank as he processed what his mentor said. Everything in the past few days had taken longer to process. He felt as though the days and nights dragged on endlessly. He loved his life beforehand but that seemed so long ago, yet it had only been days. He still felt the pain of losing his sister as if it had just happened. It was a wound that would take time to heal. Once Bluepelt's words had finally sunk in he twitched his ears in response. "Thats fine. I want to hunt. Do you want to talk here or head out of camp?" he asked flatly. His mind raced, wondering what Bluepelt needed to talk to him about. He briefly wondered if he was in trouble for something, he had in the past few days snapped at several warriors and kits for getting into his way or disturbing him from his brooding.
(GIDGETJOY)
Bluepelt hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to answer the question. Would it be better to get it over with now, or postpone the inevitable in favor of being somewhere private? Finally, he sighed. "Might as well go out while the weather's nice," he decided, padding around Jaypaw towards the camp exit, gesturing with his tail for the young apprentice to follow. His body felt heavy as he walked, as if some invisible force was constantly pushing down on him, and the warrior strained not to slouch. "We can talk when we get to the river. That sound okay to you? Unless there's somewhere else you want to go."
(HH32597)
Jaypaw turned and followed his mentor out of camp. His tail tip dragging on the ground and his head drooped low. "No the river is fine." he answered with a sigh. Jaypaw's eyes darted around once he was out of camp. He hadn't seen the sun in what seemed like quite a long time and truthfully he wasn't entirely thrilled having the bright light in his eyes. He felt like it should be grey, cold, and rainy. "It doesn't feel like it should be sunny." He stated.
(GIDGETJOY)
"I understand the sentiment all too well, but nature doesn't bend it's will for anything; not even Starclan. Life keeps moving, and will continue to even after the clans are nothing but legends passed down by sentient tribes of rabbits. All we can do is keep moving with it." It was only after the words left his mouth that Bluepelt became surprised. Where in Starclan's name did /that/ come from? He couldn't remember the last time he said something so profoundly wise; his own words were something that would sound comforting to himself. Did that all just come out of nowhere, or was it something that he had believed all along and never knew? Either way, he it was what they both needed to hear right now.
(HH32597)
Jaypaw glanced quizzically at Bluepelt with the smallest of smiles on his face. "You think that one day the Clan's will be overtaken by tribes of rabbits and we'll all just be legends?" he asked, that in theory sounded quite silly and in fact impossible, but just the thought of something so silly brought Jaypaw the slightest ounce of joy for a few seconds.
It took a moment for Bluepelt to go back over his words and recognize just what about his advice was so funny, but once he thought about it himself, he let out a snort of laughter. "It's an expression my mother used when Gravelshell and I were kits," he explained, grinning fondly at the memory, though playfully shrugging at the actual meaning behind the phrase. "But hey, don't look so skeptical; rabbits are crafty things, they don't go down without a good fight. If I had to place a bet on a creature to rule the mountains if cats suddenly disappeared, it'd definitely be rabbits. Besides, nothing really lasts forever. Though I hope the clans remain for generations to come, we can't predict the future, Jaypaw."
Jaypaw let out a laugh for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, but then he quickly got serious again. "Could you imagine all the things we could do or change if we could predict the future?" he said with a distant tone, getting silent for a few moments. "Why was she so evil?" Jaypaw asked. The question had been eating at him for quite some time, pretty much ever since he found out Yellowmoon was his mother. It might have been because he was slightly afraid him or his littermates would turn out to be like her, but he knew that was unlikely. "I was so happy before I found out she was my mother. I keep thinking that if I hadn't stumbled across her on our territory that day Vanillapaw would still be alive and she would have never of known about us."
Bluepelt stopped dead in his tracks at the question, turning to stare the apprentice his son dead in the eyes with surprising intensity; his grey gaze unwavering. "Don't think like that," he scolded, his voice low and tense. "None of it was your fault. You did nothing wrong, Jaypaw. Yellowmoon probably already knew you were her kits long before you met her that day. If anything, I believe that the entire clan shares the guilt about what happened. Despite our best efforts, we weren't able to protect your family. The clan failed you and Rhapsodypaw; I wouldn't blame either of you if you hated us like Eternallaughter does."
With a sad sigh, the slender tom sat down with a heavy 'thud', feeling like a heavy weight was pressed down on his shoulders. He knew well that his sister was constantly haunted by how she had failed Eternallaughter and Threepaw; how she wasn't able to rescue the latter from his untimely death. Though she never admitted it, it was probably part of the reason she had stepped down from her leadership. "I don't know why Yellowmoon was the way she was," he admitted, sounding as exhausted and defeated as he felt. "She fooled everyone. When Gravelstar condemned her crimes in front of the clan, there were many of us who refused to believe it until she admitted it herself. I was one of them. She was my friend, Jaypaw. We grew up together. And I had no idea the monster that she really was. I don't think even her own family knew." Thinking back to that day, he recalled the look of complete horror on Eclipseknight's face as she was told of her half-sister's murders. She definitely didn't know.
Jaypaw sat down beside Bluepelt and listened to what he had to say. "Gravelstar didn't fail Eternallaughter and Threepaw, Yellowmoon did. Just like Yellowmoon failed my siblings and I. Gravelstar did what she thought was right and I don't hate WaterClan or anyone in it. I'm not sure what happened with Eternallaughter and Threepaw, no one has volunteered to share that information with me and I don't want to go digging for it, so I'm not sure why Eternallaughter hates WaterClan and why he feels that Gravelstar failed him but the Gravelstar and WaterClan I know took us in and came to rescue us when Yellowmoon kidnapped us." he responded. He had also only recently learned of his older brother and wasn't entirely sure what to think about it. One part of him wanted to meet his brother and get to know him and another part of him was convinced that because he hated WaterClan Eternallaughter would hate him too. "All I know is that my siblings and I were found at the border when we were very young and WaterClan took us in and I've had a good life here and I refuse to hate my Clan due to Yellowmoon's wrongdoings." Jaypaw stated.
A small, but proud smile lit up Bluepelt's face as he listened to Jaypaw reaffirm his loyalty to Waterclan. "That alone makes you a greater warrior than Eternallaughter in my eyes," the tom finally admitted, feeling a wave of admiration for how mature the apprentice had become about the whole matter, despite his still young age. "But of course, you don't know why your older brother hates us to begin with. Both Gravelstar and Emberstar requested that no one tell you and your siblings the truth, even before we were completely sure of your bloodline. We had hoped that you all would live normal lives out of your mother's shadow, but that's not really an option anymore, is it?" His stomach curled into knots at the thought; Jaypaw and Rhapsodypaw deserved nothing less than to be regular clan warriors, living out long lives alongside Vanillapaw. That had all been stolen away from them.
"The least I can do for you now is tell you the truth; all of it. The clan might disagree with me on this, but after what happened to you, you deserve to know the full story. But only if that's what you really want. I won't leave anything out for your sake. If you don't want to know, you can walk away right now; live the rest of your life as normally as you possibly can, and believe that Yellowmoon was nothing more than an insane cat who's face will only exist as a dying memory. It's your choice, Jaypaw."
Jaypaw was silent for several moments. He took in what Bluepelt had just said and several emotions overcame him at once. Gravelstar and Emberstar requested that the truth be held from him, he wanted to be angry about that but truthfully before the current events took place who is mother was made no difference to Jaypaw but the current events had also made him very curious - just too afraid to ask. He could learn the truth now - all of it and that scared him a little bit but Bluepelt was right the choice was now his. "I want to know." He replied, meeting Bluepelt's gaze. "At this point there is no use hiding anything, somehow or some way it will all come out eventually."
Bluepelt nodded, releasing a breath that he didn't even know he had been holding. "Fair enough," he agreed, taking a seat on the dry grass. "You might as well sit down then; I'll be starting at the very beginning."
"As you should obviously already know, Emberstar is Waterclan's current leader, and before him was my sister Gravelstar. Before my sister was Phoenixstar -you know her as Phoenixriver the elder today- and before her was Cardinalstar, and then finally going back to the start of it all with Musicalstar; mother of Yellowmoon and Eclipseknight. I honestly don't know much about Yellowmoon's youth or family; she was already a warrior when I was born. But I do know that while Musicalstar was leading Waterclan, she began a relationship with a tom from another clan, and had kits by him. Eclipseknight is one of the last, if not the last, from that litter. From what I can tell, most of her siblings left Waterclan as soon as they could; Musicalstar didn't really try to hide it. Yellowmoon was an apprentice by that time, from the only litter between Musicalstar and a Waterclan tom, and though she never liked to talk about it, I'm positive that she was incredibly bothered by what her mom had done. Whether or not it was a factor in her actions later in life, it's difficult to say, though I'm telling you this because I think you should know."
Jaypaw sat down and listened intently to Bluepelt. He tried to absorb and take in all of what he said. He was related to a past leader and that to Jaypaw was incredible! "But Yellowmoon left and joined WinterClan? She smelled like WinterClan that day I found her in the territory and wasn't she their medicine cat so kits were against the rules for her? Was I born in WaterClan or did she take us with her when she left?" Jaypaw asked, rapidly blurting these questions out without barely a thought to them. He felt as though he needed to know their answers. He also knew this meant that Yellowmoon had either already given birth to them when she left or gave birth to him and his siblings not long after she left, so that meant that someone had to know who his father was. "And do you know who my father is?" Jaypaw asked, tearing his gaze away from the ground in front of him and back onto Bluepelt.
The tom flinched slightly at the question of Jaypaw's fatherhood. "Geez, get a grip Jaypaw," he chuckled nervously, avoiding the apprentice's gaze momentarily. "I'm getting to all that. But if you want to learn about yourself, first you need to know the story of Eternallaughter...and Threepaw."
"As far as I can remember Yellowmoon remained a loyal warrior of Waterclan long after her mother left the clan's leadership. She kept to herself mostly, and she and Eclipseknight were neutral to each other, as far as sisters go; each preferring their full-blooded litter over their half-siblings. Yellowmoon had Violetsky. Eclipseknight had Twilightfeather. Unfortunately both of them died in two separate battles, loyally laying down their lives to defend Waterclan. After Violetsky died, Yellowmoon really separated herself, constantly going off on her own. We all assumed that she was mourning in her own way. What we didn't know was that during one of her walks, she met a rouge named Puppeteer. From what he told my sister, they were only a passing fling to each other, but Yellowmoon got pregnant by it nevertheless. That litter had Eternallaughter, Threepaw, and two she-kits who died young. She told the clan that they had died suddenly of sickness, it was only later that we learned she killed them both. The other two she abused; hidden in the shadows, out of sight from anyone else, and threatening death if they ever spoke about it. The wounds were subtle enough to pass off as kits roughhousing, but a few cats were suspicious, Gravelstar included. But no matter how she tried, my sister couldn't find any evidence of wrongdoing, and couldn't take kits away from their well-liked mother without proof."
"But she killed Threepaw as well..." Jaypaw said quietly while shaking his head. "I don't understand what drove her to do such evil things. Musicalstar wasn't evil was she? I mean I know she broke the warrior code but that doesn't necessarily make one evil." He said.
Bluepelt nodded, agreeing fully with Jaypaw's statement. "You're right, it doesn't. If every cat that broke the warrior code was evil, I'm positive most of the clans would be living in the Dark Forest right now, myself included."
"To continue though, eventually Eternalpaw had been so traumatized by Yellowmoon that one night he snuck out of the apprentices' den and just...ran off. It would be several moons before we would discover that he had taken refuge in Dayclan, and been promoted to a warrior with the name Eternallaughter. But Threepaw wouldn't leave with him, and so he constantly lived in worry about his younger brother, while at the same time growing a strong hated for Waterclan; the cats who had seen his suffering and had done nothing to stop it. Then, many moons later, the worst finally happened. My sister's mate, Leucisticcrow, noticed Yellowmoon leading Threepaw out of Waterclan's territory, and immediately ran to get Gravelstar. The two pursued her, eventually running into Eternallaughter and Puppeteer instead, who had both come to check on Threepaw themselves. When they heard what was going on, all four chased after her, to try and stop her from doing something terrible. They were too late. According to my sister, when they entered a clearing, they saw Yellowmoon, resting on top of a cliff, watching gleefully as Threepaw was mauled to death by foxes. Gravelstar condemned Yellowmoon's treason, and the two fought while the others fended off the still-hungry foxes. Yellowmoon took a life from my sister but was eventually defeated. They then hauled her back to camp to face judgment."
Jaypaw stared wide eyed at his paws in horror of what he was hearing. He knew he had done terrible things but feeding your own kit to foxes!. He was just happy that him and his littermates didn't face such a horrible circumstance. "Then she was exiled from WaterClan and went and lived in WinterClan and became their medicine cat." Jaypaw said quietly. "She must have been incredibly smart in order to trick WinterClan into becoming their medicine cat."
The warrior shrugged, agreeing with Jaypaw's assessment in principle. "Yep, that's pretty much what happened. Honestly, I have no clue how she ended up as Winterclan's Medicine Cat. Maybe she tricked them, maybe they were desperate, maybe she actually managed to save a cat's life. I don't know, and I'm pretty sure Emberstar doesn't know either. Winterclan cats are very secretive types; they prefer to keep to themselves, maintain a strict policy for trespassers, and hardly ever interact positively with other clans. We might never know why they chose Yellowmoon."
"What we do know, is that somewhere between leaving Waterclan and joining Winterclan, she gave birth to you and your siblings. The only info Winterclan ever gave us was that she wasn't at all pregnant when she joined them, which fits with the timeline of when we found you all abandoned by the river. Of course, that also means she was pregnant when she killed Threepaw; perhaps with the idea of erasing all traces of her old litter before giving birth to her new one."
"I wonder why she abandoned us... only to come back for us moons later." Jaypaw wondered aloud. "Probably because she was desperate for WinterClan to take her in." he added with a shrug. "I guess my siblings and I got lucky that she abandoned us instead of killing us right then and there or worse she could have brought us to WinterClan and we would be going through the same thing that Eternallaughter and Threepaw went through."
"Who knows?" Bluepelt admitted. "She's gone, so we might never know what happened. Perhaps she did try, abandoning you all there so close to the river. Maybe not. Maybe it was your pure Waterclan bloodline that kept you from being victims in the end like your half-siblings? What I told you is all I know; we found you all there on the border, and the rest, as they say, is history."
"It's not...a real explanation for what Yellowmoon did to you, I know that. But that's the story, the truth. Ask anyone else in Waterclan, they'll give you the exact same answer. I guess...there are some things in life that just don't have simple answers. But I wish I could give you more than just that, Jaypaw, I really do."
Jaypaw turned a wide eyed blue gaze onto Bluepelt. "Pure WaterClan bloodline?" he questioned hopefully. If he was pure WaterClan there was a solid chance he had living relatives within the Clan! "Do you know if I have any living relatives within the Clan other than my littermates?" he asked.
Bluepelt took a deep breath. There was the question. It was now or never. He could say nothing and let Jaypaw go on with his life with no one but him, Gravelshell, and Yellowmoon in the Dark Forest being any the wiser. Maybe then the kit could attempt to live some semblance of a normal life. But would it be worth it? Didn't Jaypaw deserve to know the truth? The warrior hadn't kept anything from him so far.
Perhaps the only way for them to really heal is for everything to be out in the open.
"Yes, we believe you do. From what Duskshadow was able to tell, you and your siblings were fathered by three different toms. Talonpaw and Rhapsodyrose we agree are Hoodedwolf's, so they belong with Lightningswift's family. They're a close family, so I'm positive that they'll accept her. Vanillapaw...seems to have belonged to Ghosttoad, a rouge by blood, but treated like family by Lightningswift's kin nevertheless. Not surprising; Ghosttoad was a good friend of Yellowmoon and me."
Bluepelt rose to his paws again, turning to meet Jaypaw's gaze dead-on.
"As for you, Jaypaw, I have no doubts about your heritage. You belong with Gravelshell...and Caspianpaw...and me."
...
"Because you are my son."
His judgment would not come from Starclan. It would come from his kit alone.
Jaypaw fixed his gaze down on his paws for several long moments, attempting to process what he had just learned. His mentor was his father. He had living kin other than his siblings. He was overjoyed but at the same time frustrated that he had family under his nose for so long and didn't even know they were family. "How long have you and Gravelshell known that I was your son?" he asked quietly, meeting Bluepelt's gaze once again. There was no anger in his gaze, only curiosity and hope.
The clear lack of anger or betrayal in his son's eyes was shocking to Blupelt; he had been so sure the young tom would hate him for having kits with a monster like Yellowmoon, or at least for keeping this from him for so long. Taken off guard, the warrior answered with a surprising level of honesty. "T-The day we met Yellowmoon by the river...when you were out of earshot she insinuated that you look a lot like me. She reminded me of that single night where she comforted me when I was feeling completely hopeless. I didn't believe her at first, I didn't want to think that I allowed such a horrible cat to take advantage of my emotions like that...or have a kit as a result of her manipulation. Like I said earlier, she never told anyone that she was pregnant before she was exiled. We didn't know. I...didn't know. I didn't know what to think."
"But my sister confirmed it. Apparently, while that patrol was hunting Yellowmoon down, she had told Gravelshell the exact same thing she told me. From what my sister told me that night, the look in that murder's eyes...your mother sincerely believed it. I've been waiting ever since for a chance to tell you...but I thought you deserved some time to grieve for your sister first."
