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[ in which Loki finds herself pondering her relationship to her mother and struggling to find purpose in her life. You can join in with a character that will offer friendship or make her life more challenging. Or, you can choose the outside perspective route and influence the environment around her. ]
The black she-cat halted in her tracks, her breath coming in pants. She lowered her head, swallowing the cotton mouth feel on her tongue. She turned narrowed green eyes towards the blue skies above, the canopy of twigs just starting to sprout their new growth creating a spiderweb effect upon the undergrowth and her onyx pelt. She inhaled a deep breath and closed her eyes, focusing on her heart rate. Her mother... Tasman E'Clair was many things, but motherly was not one of them. She kicked at a branch that was resting at her feet. Yet no matter how hard she tried to be angry... she just felt lost. Why was she not good enough? What more could she do before she fell to pieces?
Post by Honeystorm on Apr 13, 2019 12:32:51 GMT -5
It was mere coincidence that Killian found Loki then. In a way, they were both connected. His mother, Lakeveil, had helped Tasman's line to the throne, and in turn, had replaced his grandmother as Vrachii. The tom heard the branch and turned, ears pricked as he trotted towards the sound until breathing reached his ears, then the scent of another cat. He recognized it, slightly anyway. "Loki?" The Dvorayne questioned, hoping he'd gotten the person right. Wouldn't that be an embarrassing turn of events, him managing to mix up two cats?
The black she-cat lifted her head sharply, surprise written across her face before she quickly concealed it with a cool look. "Killian." She murmured, clearing her throat. "I wasn't expecting to find you out here." She glanced to the side. She wasn't normally willing to show her vulnerability to anyone but Thoren, her childhood friend and secret crush; would Killian make fun of her for her childish display? "Were you hunting? I'm sorry if I startled your game."
Post by Honeystorm on Apr 20, 2019 18:59:37 GMT -5
The tom waved his tail lightly, and gave a slight shake of his head. "Oh, no, don't worry about me." He assured lightly, offering her a tentative smile. "I was just out for a walk. Are you alright? You sound a little winded." Blank eyes turned to face her as the tom turned his blue and tan bengal body, draped in warm brown spots and stripes, to fully face the sound of her voice. She didn't sound hurt, at least. Maybe that was one benefit of his blindness. Around him, cats needn't worry so much about maintaining appearances, it wasn't like he could see them anyway.
Heat spread across her cheeks as she blinked, taking in the fact that his eyes were cloudy and he seemed to speak in her general direction rather than directly to her. Straightening her stance, she turned her head away, trying to pull herself together. Another tear slipped past her lids and she grit her teeth. She needed to be stronger than this. Needed to show that she was capable of more than just sniveling and whining like a lost child... She turned to the Dvoryane. "I'm fine." Her words came out a little rougher than she intended and she winced. Killian was only being nice; he didn't deserve her anger. He was a Sterling, though... She had it lodged in her mind that she would be overthrown by the Sterling house one day. They were the largest family of Dvoryane in the clan. And while Lakeveil, head of Sterling house, was her vrachi and thus loyal to her... she had no ties to the grey she-cat. Meaning she held no trust. "I'm fine." She repeated softly, her own ears not believing her. She stood. "Where were you going?"
Post by Honeystorm on May 18, 2019 22:12:26 GMT -5
The tom's blank gaze softened, catching the lie though he chose not to say anything. Indeed, he doubted she'd want to talk to him much, would she? His family was a threat, numbering nearly as many as all the other royal families combined. If anyone would have the chance of starting a successful revolution, it was his line. He understood it, and yet, it made him greatly sad. Most would never see him as anything but their ticket to royalty, or a threat to be kept at an arm's distance. It was extraordinarily hard to make friends, almost harder with the royals than even the Voiny, in some cases. "Nowhere in particular. I was just letting my paws take me wherever they wanted to go." Killian answered with a slight smile. "Sometimes it's nice to be able to walk without having a destination in mind. Would you like to join me?" Maybe it'd help to get her mind off things. Or at least give her a chance to compose herself before she went back to the more populated sections of BrookClan, if that was her worry.
Loki blinked, gazing at him for the longest time with a mouth agape. She found herself slowly relaxing in her presence, turning her head to look down at her paws. How was it fair? Here she was, barely old enough to be considered a kadet, looked down upon or gazed at with high expectation, and she could hardly keep up. Whereas Killian… he didn’t need to try. She glanced at him again, taking in his presence. The Sterlings were many things – some of those things repeating in her head, unkind words that stamped themselves upon her soul – but she wondered if they were the rightful heir to the throne. If the Sterling house was meant to sit with a crown upon their head, instead of her own family.
She clenched her jaw, trying to distract herself from her absurd thought process, before blinking at him again, emerald eyes wide. He was… inviting her? He wanted her to spend time with him? He actually… thought she’d be good company? A voice in her head laughed scornfully but she grit her teeth.
“Um.” She stood, padding forward a bit. “I’d. Yes.”
Post by Honeystorm on May 31, 2019 21:26:37 GMT -5
Perhaps some thought them the rightful heirs, but Killian didn't think of it that way. One day, he would lead the Sterlings, being that he was Lakeveil's oldest, and that was enough responsibility for him. He had no desire to take on the Tsar's duties, and didn't envy Loki for all she had to do, at an age younger than he. He liked being able to be the carefree one, to make others smile even when he hated himself at times. As it was, their families were close enough to each other already. His uncle, Blazehowl, and her aunt, Dinara, were expecting a litter together. Though none would likely ever become Tsar, the two families were now permanently intertwined on at least one account.
"Alright, then, let's walk." He waited for her a moment, then simply started to walk away. Killian didn't lead, nor did he head anywhere in particular, though he did turn away slightly from the voices of others when he heard them. What was the point of a relaxing walk with someone if you got constantly interrupted?
Nodding slowly, she began to pad alongside him, questions still brewing in her mind. How was he so different from his relatives? His brain must work in different ways than his kin. But why? What had changed in the tom's psyche compared to others in his bloodline that were... well. Definitely not as compassionate. "Why are you being nice to me?" She blurted, blushing at the brash way she'd let the words free from her lips. Mousebrain!
