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(Mostly for Ambersky's family but feel free to reply too)
Peanutblossom could barely remember the fall. The argument beforehand, and the conversation, everything before then he could easily recall. Just not the painful end he was sure happened. The light brown tabby stepped through the stars, understanding that though he may not remember his actual death, he was dead. He'd really screwed up this time.
StarClan, it was a wonder he made it here and not the Dark Forest or lost somewhere inbetween. Portions of his life had been questionable as to where he deserved to end up in the end. Peanutblossom knew now, because everything became clearer in death, that he'd been a horrible father, warrior, and cat in general. Was it his understanding of that that got him in StarClan? Maybe.
He wasn't sure what he expected of this place. But his mother sitting there waiting for him, along with others of his family who'd passed before him, that wasn't it. Tears sprang to his eyes when he caught sight of them all. He may not have been on the best of terms with some of them, or even the easiest cat to get along with or love when he was alive but he was honestly glad to see them. Even his mother, who he'd hated and resented for so long. His father, who he barely knew. Siblings, he'd lost too soon.
And her. The love of his life. The only one who'd ever really held his heart.
Warmth flooded him from nose to tailtip at the sight of his son. Technically, Peanutblossom was his nephew, but he had raised him as his own and loved him as fiercely as he could any kit of his own blood. He had given up his life for his family, watched his chances at love crumble over and over again before his muzzle as he fought for his sister's kits -- but he didn't regret a moment of it. They were his family, and he hadn't needed a she-cat in his life to make him happy. As much as he grieved to have one of his kits die, he couldn't help being happy, too: they were reunited! Hawksight focused on that fact and allowed himself to grin, trotting forward to welcome his son with a touch of his nose. "Peanutblossom, welcome to StarClan," he purred.
Grayflight smiled, friendly, but cautious. They didn't know each other well and he had seen how his son acted on the earth below, and he wasn't sure how to feel about that.
The broken tom he'd once been felt whole now. Peanutblossom had always known in life that something was missing, something was amiss in his family's dynamic and yet the truth had broken him more than he ever thought it could. Then he'd commited the same mistake his mother had, fallen in love with a she-cat from another clan. It didn't feel like a mistake. They'd been in love, if only it had ended better.
His thoughts were interrupted by Hawksight stepping forward. Tears were in his eyes. Home. He'd alwasy put Hawksight and home togther. The tom had raised him and his siblings, called them his own even at the end. And Peanutblossom had thrown it all back at him every step of the way. "Hi." How could this tom welcome him home, when he'd pushed them all away like trash?
Ambersky smiled at her brother, happy for him from her place beside her mate. She too was catiuous to step forward. They hadn't had the greatsest relationship in life, and she hoped that they could change that in death. But this was her son and she was glad to see him once again, even if it wasn't for the best reason. What mother would want their own son dead? Not even her.
Deleted
POSTEDMar 20, 2019 18:20:52 GMT -5 TO Starclan & Dark Forest
Standing quietly at the back of the crowd was Sealife. The pale silver tabby had died seasons ago on the Brookclan and Earthclan border giving birth to her kittens Seablossom, Almondrose, and Applecrisp. She had quietly watched her little family from Starclan. Watching her three children grown into the strong warriors they were today. The thought brought a smile to her face as her seafoam eyes watched Peanutblossom from the back.
Peanutblossom couldn't face Sealife just yet. If she'd seen how he'd abandoned their kits once they'd become apprentices and able to care for themselves, then when he'd dumped his second litter on Seablossom when she was still an apprentice, she'd surely hate him. He deserved none of the kindness she'd showed him in life. Peanutblossom only sobbed harder when he caught a glimpse of her. Mind questioning why she was even here. Surely, she didn't want to see him? After all he'd done? He'd attacked Seablossom just before he feel into the gorge for crying out loud! The tom knew that if their roles were switched, he wouldn't want to talk to her.
"It's good to see you again. If I had known you were coming, I would have neatened myself up a bit," he told him, fussing over his nephew. Hawksight's brown tabby fur was tousled as usual and speckled with dust; not even in death could he keep his fur clean and neat, and they both knew full well even if he had advanced notice of Peanutblossom's arrival he wouldn't have cleaned up that much. As he sobbed at the sight of his mate, Hawksight sighed and stepped back, reluctantly stepping aside so the two could have their reunion. He wasn't the only one here to welcome the new arrival, after all. He cocked his head at Sealife, then coaxed her closer with a flick of his ears. Better to get this over with quickly, hmm?
Grayflight glanced over his shoulder at the she-cat, then smiled, brushing his tail over her shoulders reassuringly, a question in his eyes. He wasn't sure how she'd react to seeing his son again.
(So found this, which I thought I replied to. But guess not.)
Peanutblssom didn't want him to go. He was familiar and in this realm, safety. Many of the cats standing here had every right to walk away, to not greet him or want him. The deceased warrior knew he hadn't been the best cat in life, especially when he learned the truth. A truth, most days, he wished he'd never learned. It was hard knowing you were lied to your whole life. And yet, now he couldn't see his life having spiraled any other way. Peanutblossom stepped forward, eyes down, tail on the ground. He glanced at his adoptive father, biological uncle one last time. They'd have forever, but he had to make it through this first. He'd have to be brave just for a moment. Then...then if she never wished to see him again he'd accept it. But he could tell her one thing, that he'd loved her and only her, that he'd taken her and only her as a mate, that he'd cared for all his kits but he'd especially loved the ones she'd left him.
Ambersky, moving around the she-cat from behind, gave the BrookClan mother a push. "Well, go on dear." She knew what love was like, especially the first love. The old medicine cat moved to sit next to her mate, brushing against him. As much as she'd loved her children, she had to admit she'd not done the best by them or their father. She'd distanced herself from Grayflight, never even telling him until it was too late. Then she'd lied to the whole clan, her family, and had her brother in on it all. She'd admit she started this mess of a family, so she was gonna do her best to right those wrongs. Even if it was only in little ways, like rekindling the fire between her son and his mate.
Troubled emotions swirled in Sealife's seafoam colored eyes. She was speechless for a few heartbeats. When she had left her mother Oceanstory's side to go be there for Peanutblossom when he joined Starclan she had been excited to see him again. It had been seasons since she had be able to speak to him. She had watched Peanutblossom and their children from Starclan. It troubled her to think of the other litter of kits that he had fathered and left behind. The small push from the older she-cat broke her train of thought. In front of her stood Peanutblossom his eyes not looking at her and his tail dragging on the ground. She stepped the few paces forwards towards the tom. "It's been so long my love." she meowed.
Shock was an understatement. The tom couldn't believe that she would still call him that, love. Was he worthy of that title? He'd attacked Seablossom in his anger just before he'd fallen. Peanutblossom was barely able to look up at her, sinking further in on himself. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Sorry for it all. For how he treated her, the kits, their untimely separation. "You deserved more than me." More than the early death he'd helped cause. More than love separated across the clans. More than he could have ever offered her. More than the life he'd shown her.
It'd been a mess, A mess he'd seen suffered in his family once. Hawksight had said their mother, their fake mother now, had been a cat from another clan who'd died birthing them. Peanutblossom had seen it as a curse for breaking the warrior code. So he'd vowed to not be a part of that mess, that consequence and to love only within EarthClan. And yet, he'd broken that vow so quickly when he'd fallen for her. Always for her.
Shock was an understatement. The tom couldn't believe that she would still call him that, love. Was he worthy of that title? He'd attacked Seablossom in his anger just before he'd fallen. Peanutblossom was barely able to look up at her, sinking further in on himself. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Sorry for it all. For how he treated her, the kits, their untimely separation. "You deserved more than me." More than the early death he'd helped cause. More than love separated across the clans. More than he could have ever offered her. More than the life he'd shown her.
It'd been a mess, A mess he'd seen suffered in his family once. Hawksight had said their mother, their fake mother now, had been a cat from another clan who'd died birthing them. Peanutblossom had seen it as a curse for breaking the warrior code. So he'd vowed to not be a part of that mess, that consequence and to love only within EarthClan. And yet, he'd broken that vow so quickly when he'd fallen for her. Always for her.
