Most sensible cats at that point probably would have taken the hint to listen to their clan medicine cat apprentice, or at the very least to have takeb on a more respectful tone towards the cat that obviously out-ranked them. Unfortunately, Bumblebeepaw wasn't "most cats", and whether they were sensible or not was highly debatable. And so Bumblebeepaw met Lilacpaw's tacit challenge head-on, not showing a hint of hesitation.

"Listen buddy," Bumblebeepaw snapped back, the tone so sharp it almost seemed like it was splitting the air itself. "Contrary to your belief, I don't have the IQ of a dying squirrel - if it was just a cut I would have wrapped it up already. I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here. But it's not just a cut, there's something - probably a rock shard - stuck in it, and I can't get it out. Once it is out, I'll gladly wrap it up myself." Every word the apprentice spoke with an obnoxious amount of attitude, only to be punctuated at the end by Bumblebeepaw shoving their paw near Lilacpaw's face, basically forcing him to have to have a look at it whether he wanted to or not.

"Although even if I didn't have something stuck in my paw, isn't wrapping wounds for idiots who don't know how to do it without giving themselves an infection like 90% of your job? What the heck else do you even do all day other than shuffle around herbs and sleeping - woops, I mean "getting messages from Starclan"."

"The latter part checks out, the former I'm not mean enough to make a comment on." Bumblebeepaw said, the dry amusement at their own remark clearly palpable in their own voice. "Also, since you basically asked, I'm Bumblebeepaw. I already know your name because I actually keep track of the cats in the clan." The sarcasm was biting, but even in it there seemed to be the slightly subtle acknowledgement there was a deep irony to their own comment. There was an obvious reason why the apprentice would know their medicine cat apprentice's name, but the medicine cat apprentice wouldn't know a random apprentice. But Bumblebeepaw didn't give the comment enough time for the implications to truly settle before they continued on.

"But anyways, I got it from climbing on a stalagmite, and now it's stuck. Aparently there's nothing like stepping full force on one of the smaller sharp parts to really jam it into your paw, and now that it's broken off while inside of it it's hard as hell to get out." There was a pause after the explanation, as if taking a moment to consider their options given that Lilacpaw seemed so steadfast in his resolve to not be of any help at all. Though, after a small moment, Bumblebeepaw slowly lowered their paw as, at the same moment, a smug look began to grace their features as the first warning of their realization and plan of action they'd decided upon.

"Listen, I can't make you help me," Bumblebeepaw started, a sort of flippant teasing to their words, "but I'm also not leaving 'till I get this thing out of my paw. Whether it's you, me, or Twilightdance, I don't care. But I'm not tracking blood all over the apprentice den and my bedding because you won't do your job."

And with that, Bumblebeepaw took once more to leaning against the den entrance, another small pool of blood collecting now right next to the first.

Bumblebeepaw ignored the first comment. Primarily because, despite the jab, they had won. Kinda.

Although at the advice of the other apprentice to go and wash their paw in a river, Bumblebeepaw rolled their eyes in annoyance. They weren't stupid, they could tell the intent was to get them to have to limp far, far into the territory and then have to limp all the way back. Although by that point they were sure that whatever benefit dipping their paw in the river had given them would be long, long gone.

In spite of that, at first Bumblebeepaw was about to accept the rather awful "bargain", prepared to have to just accept that they would have to make it all the way to a fresh water source and then hobble all the way back. But they were sure to get one last small taunt in. "Fine, sure." There was a dry annoyance to their voice as they spoke, though it was obvious they were trying to hide a small smirk as they thought about what they planned to do next. "I don't see why I can't clean it off mysef but-" Bumblebeepaw started, a distinct coyness to their tone right before they intentionally cut themselves off by giving two licks to their bloody paw. In truth they weren't really thrilled to lick it, but seeing how dramatically the other apprentice has acted towards the blood so far, they figured the display would make their stomach absolutely churn, and that seemed like valid payback.

However, while biting back a gag at the taste of globs of their own blood and trying to feign a straight face, a new idea hit them. It was debatable if it was a good idea; it had its significant pros and its significant cons, though it was certainly the kind of idea that if one had more brains than they had pride they probably wouldn't have gone through with. But Bumblebeepaw had too much pride for their own good.

"Actually, better idea. Trust me." Bumblebeepaw said, a certain smugness to their tone before brushing slightly past Lilacpaw to grab some moss from one of the stacks in the den's reserve, and then before another question could really be posed or they could be stopped, Bumblebeepaw left with the moss in tow. If the apprentice didn't have a tertible limp, they might have nearly skippd their way to their destination. Their plan was stupid, sure, but it was also kind of ingenious. And it would probably slightly get under the medicine cat apprentice's skin, or give at least give him a moment. That was all that mattered.

Half padding, half limping, Bumblebeepaw eventually got to the saltwater pool in the center of camp and gave a small, barely audible sigh. This was going to sting like gehenna, and they knew it. But it also meant that Lilacpaw wouldn't get his 10 or 20 minutes of peace and that they wouldn't be forced to limp back to camp. Besides, salt water was a disinfectant and an anti-inflammatory, so technically this was better and actually kind of smart, in a weird twisted way. At least, that's what Bumblebeepaw tried to convince themselves as the dunked two of the four clumps of moss they had grabbed into the water. Then, gritting their teeth and keeping the most straight face they could manage, they began to clean off the blood with the moss.

Of course it hurt more than the apprentice could possibly express, but they bit their tongue, refusing to show how absolutely agonizing the pain was. And, by the time they were done, although their paw was throbbing and moss was absolutely soaked in blood, the paw was clean and it at least appeared as if the bleeding had slowed.

After taking a moment to compose themselves, to put on a completely unphased facade, they gathered up the absolutely blood-drenched pile of moss and made their way back to the medicine cat den, dropping them right outside the entrance.

" 'Aight. It's clean. Time for you to do you part." Bumblebeepaw said nonchalantly, though again a certain smugness played at their voice. At least as far as the medicine cat apprentice could see and tell, they'd just washed their paw off in the water like it was nothing and then had come trotting (well, as much as one can trot with a limp) back, and Bumblebeepaw was pretty darn proud of that. And of course, the wet and blood soaked moss that got dragged back was just the icing on the cake.

"I don't know. Sounds like I'm getting my paw fixed, and you're going to have the joy of cleaning up all the blood that comes from it. Not to mention I got my second dose of fun for the day with the salt water. Honestly you should be glad I have the restraint to not make this my weekly routine. " Bumblebeepaw said with a wink (am i allowed to make this kind of joke considering the classic quote of the month last year was "oooh yes beat it out of me, i'm a bad boy that needs to be punished!" ? i guess i'm risking it woops). The apprentice seemed unphased by the fact that Lilacpaw had potentially gotten the better end of deal - though whether that was how they actually felt was hard to tell.

Either way, Bumblebeepaw still did as told, putting his paw on the rock and flipping it upward. With it now cleaned off it was easy to see why the wound had been bleeding so profusely, and why the other apprentice had such a difficult time pulling it out. The rock was obviously wedged deep in and had broken clean off into the paw. All that could be seen was a tiny bit of grey conumed by the flesh of the paw, tiny bead of bloods still forming an outline around it. "Huh. Looks like it actually is pretty jammed in there." Bumblebeepaw noted, stating the obvious.

"Man, she'll probably really love you for that." The dry sarcasm in the apprentice's tone was biting, but other than that the apprentice kept still so Lilacpaw could do his inspection.

At the mention that the removal of the stone jammed into their paw "might hurt", it took everything in their power to avoid making a comment. About a thousand flew through their mind, it was so rife for a come-back it was almost painful; in their head they had settled on something like, "Might? Oh come on, if it's the only only time I get the pleasure can you press your claw in there while you do it too,just for good measure so I can get some sort of quality gaurantee? But then it occured to the apprentice that if they ran their mouth they might well actually do it, and they were already a little too aware that Lilacpaw wasn't going to be gentle about the removal to begin with. So instead, they shut their mouth and prepared a facade for when the pain actually came, their teeth already tightly clamped atop their tongue for something to bite into when the pain inevitable came over them in waves.

And of course, it did. It hurt like the devil, and it took all Bumblebeepaw could muster not to whimper or yelp as a jolt of pain shot through their paw and seemed to nearly travel up their whole leg, ending at an uncomfortable, dull ache at the shoulder. As insult to injury, for a second after the apprentice couldn't tell if they tasted blood from biting into their tongue so hard, or if was just the smell of blood once again filling the air from the now oozing wound. After a moment or so they figured it was probably just the scent of blood, but even then the painful throbbing in their paw was so present and distracting that they weren't quite sure. Although the initial pain had somewhat died down, the apprentice still felt their voice which had caught in their throat, and so at the end of the entire thing, the pain and the blood and the immediate aftermath of intense throbbing, the apprentice let out a dry, "Heh." It wasn't a laugh, though the apprentice tried to play it off like one - more like a bitter sigh that was the best the could manage to down-play the pain.

Although, after a moment more, the apprentice was able to fully re-gather themselves, taking a moment to inspect the wound that, as Lilacpaw had expected, was now pouring out blood all over again - this time a little worse than before. Bumblebeepaw bit back a sigh, instead deciding to lick their paw clean - this time not bothering to hide their displeasure at having to do do. The reality was that this time the blood was flowing so heavily that it had actually started to get all over them, and they preferred to not have themselves look like they had walked away from a murder. Only when the flow had stopped long enough for the apprentice to feel like they could take a step without flicking blood so violently it would even splatter on themselves as they walked did they finally actually go over to where Lilacpaw had gestured.

"An infection is the only reason I don't. The pain is great, the oozing is a little much." Bumblebeepaw called back from where they were, though a certain spriteliness had dulled from their voice. It was clear, no matter how hard the apprentice tried to hide the pain, that it had thrown them off a little. Grabbing some of the cobwebs from the storage, the apprentice began somewhat half-heartedly bandaging up their wounds, and by the way Bumblebeepaw plopped down to a sit it seemed clear they intended to take their sweet time.

After a few small second of silence after fiddling with the cobwebs, Bumblebeepaw spoke up again. "So, you know I gotta' ask, who do you pay off to get a job where you get to do nothing all day, and when someone comes in asking you to do your job, you just get to refuse to do it? Is there like a backdoor scheme I wasn't let in on or-?" The joke once again was dry, biting with sarcasm even if still some of the apprentice's original energy continued to be lost.

That singular question seemed to return all their energy back to them, visibly perking back up a bit and pausing their bandaging for a second as a wry smile curled onto their muzzle.

"So, funny story," They started, leaning back against the wall of the den, as if this was going to take a long time, so they ought to get settled in. "I was a reporter, all my siblings are reporters... Except for one, but we're not getting into that. But anyways, so that's what we all were, but then at the trial of Duskpaw, Cascadepaw, and Pantherpaw, I casually got noticed in the audience by Kier. And then like a few days later, I was made executioner, which I think is pretty darn impressive. And I haven't lost an eye yet, just almost lost a paw." There was a cheery enthusiasm in their voice, but there was a constant sarcastic, teasing note as well. A subtle hint that, even though they were telling the story like it was some grand thing, they were very aware it wasn't that impressive or groundbreaking at all. But they betrayed more than a bit of eagerness to hear Lilacpaw's reaction.