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Perhaps there was somewhat manipulative intent behind her actions. It seemed like she had to twist some cat one way or another anymore, whether it was for the goal of proving her loyalty to the Clan to her Clanmates or proving it to herself. She wasn't entirely sure which one this course of action was. She was hesitant to approach her brother, Deadringer, wondering if his hatred of their mother had perhaps shifted onto herself, and Troubledheart could far too easily end up asking too many questions. Doublethink was a safe option, a sibling that she felt most confident she could try to build an easy, no-questions-asked relationship with.
Maybe cats would start to be suspicious of how often she was showing her face around camp, but at least this time she wasn't hanging around for long. She snatched the attention of a nearby Clanmate, quickly being directed towards her sister. She trotted up to her littermate with a wave of her tail. "Doublethink," she meowed, a light smile on her face. "It's been a while." The last time Twistedecho had spent any real time with her siblings was seasons ago, back when they all were apprentices. Even back then she spent more time with their mother than her littermates, sucked into the paranoia inherited from their only known parent. Then, only a few moons into their apprenticeship, SunClan changed with Twistedecho along with it. There wasn't much time for family when one was a Janus of the Clan. Perhaps it was only her seniority that gave her the time now to spend with her sister.
i am leaving soon, hit me up anytime on discord <3
2,396 posts
Post by uniqcrim on Jan 9, 2019 15:41:04 GMT -5
Doublethink's ears perked up as she heard her name and she tensed instinctively until she recognized the she-cat who had spoken. It was Twistedecho, her sister who she had not really spoken to or been around much for quite some time. A piece of her felt tense and a shadow of suspicion passed over her eyes. She had not been affected by their mother nearly as bad but did carry some of her paranoia and doubt around with her at times. "Twistedecho," her words conveyed her surprise at the approach but she did not withdraw. "How is life as a Janus treating you?" She purred lightly, forcing herself to relax. Her sister would not bring harm upon there, there was barely even a neutral bond between the two she-cats.
She took note of the marks of their mother's influence in her sister's reactions, almost surprised by it. She always thought she was the one most affected, sometimes believing she was the only one really changed, but she supposed Fearfulwhisper had tried to instill the same twisted values in all of her children. After moons of growing up under someone like her, any cat would carry at least a small part of her paranoia. She settled down before her sister, forcing her own posture to relax as her tail curled neatly against her side. The calmer she was, the calmer her sister would hopefully be.
"Being a Janus is... busy," she meowed, having to think for a moment exactly how to describe it. 'Busy' was an understatement, didn't come near to capturing the feel of having such a rank in SunClan. It was dangerous and twisted, and she had learned more about both the Clan and how to kill as a Janus than most of her Clanmates would ever know. But she couldn't, wouldn't tell Doublethink about the cats she had tortured and lives she had ended in the name of the Sun God. Her sister would likely already know about the latter, the executions for failed Initiates far from private. Eventually, with a sharp shake of her head to chase away her wandering thoughts, she turned to question her littermate. "How's the life of a warrior?" she asked, at least a little curious about the answer. Twistedecho had never gotten the chance to really learn what it was like to be a warrior, and she couldn't help but wonder how things would be if she hadn't been chosen to follow down her current path.
i am leaving soon, hit me up anytime on discord <3
2,396 posts
Post by uniqcrim on Jan 12, 2019 19:42:27 GMT -5
"It's fine. I'm hoping for an apprentice soon." She had yet to be presented with apprentice despite being a warrior for so long and she hoped that Foxstar would recognize the work the long furred brown she-cat put in for Sunclan sooner rather than later. She wondered what kind of duties Twistedecho had to do as a Janus, them and their duties were kept behind an intentional misty veil so a warrior such as herself could only wonder and fill in the blanks as necessary. "Are you happy, as a Janus?" Doublethink asked. Recently, she had been asking herself many questions about happiness and that that meant for her.
An apprentice. There was another thing she'd always missed out on. Perhaps she could claim any help she offered to the newer and especially younger Janus could count as her 'mentoring' them, but she knew it was nowhere near the same thing. Doublethink probably would end up making a better actual mentor than Twistedecho ever would've. Her thoughts didn't linger long on the topic of apprentices, though at her sister's question. Was she happy? Her first instinct was to snap back no, she wasn't happy at all. She was trapped in her position, though perhaps that had more to do with her secrets than necessarily being a Janus. If only she could actually tell anyone this. Instead, ultimately she replied back, "It's fulfilling." At least that much was true. The knowledge she had obtained in her role was the one part she really enjoyed.
i am leaving soon, hit me up anytime on discord <3
2,396 posts
Post by uniqcrim on Jan 16, 2019 1:22:10 GMT -5
The black and brown she-cat studied her sister for a moment, searching for anything that gave away her true thoughts or feelings but was disappointed when she did not find anything. Twistedecho was good at hiding her true feelings and Doublethink wasn't particularly good at discerning the thoughts and feelings of others. "Fulfilling" was not the same thing as being happy. Fulfillment was something you felt when you were part of something but that did not mean you as an individual was happy and that was most concerning to her in all honesty. "That's all?" She asked her quietly, pale green gaze fixed on the Janus thoughtfully.
