Warrior Cat Clans 2 (WCC2 aka Classic) is a roleplay site inspired by the Warrior series by Erin Hunter. Whether you are a fan of the books or new to the Warrior cats world, WCC2 offers a diverse environment with over a decade’s worth of lore for you - and your characters - to explore. Join us today and become a part of our ongoing story!
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The sun had just set, leaving SummerClan quiet, warm and peaceful; the last of the birds sang their evening melodies from the trees as they settled down to sleep, their songs lilting and sweet and melancholy - or maybe they just sounded like that to the tom listening to them. The pale yellow earth of the camp was still warm from the midsummer sun, and grasshoppers chirped from the gentle night, and the world was kind. Doefreckle had been trying to give Shadedsun space since the black tom's return but he was never far away; he was always aware of where Shadedsun was, trying to let him acclimatise to SummerClan and life on his own while still reassuring himself he was there if his friend needed him. He didn't want to be smothering, wanted to give Shadedsun freedom to breathe and meet the Clan and make friends and spend time by himself. Doe would be there if he needed him, and he didn't avoid him - or, rather, tried not to, though there was certainly a part of him that was afraid - but their interactions since Shadedsun's return had quietened to a gentle smile at the fresh-kill pile; or Doe eating dinner with Devotedcrow, his eyes always wandering over to the long-furred tom from the other side of the camp, trying not to feel worried about him; or Doe leaving a flower on Shadedsun's nest, just to let him know that, amid all the distance and quiet, he cared.
The night before, Doe had slipped back into camp late after seeing Hywel, careful to groom all traces of the League tom's scent from his fur before he crept into the warriors' den and curled up in the nest on the other side of the den from Shaded; he didn't want to flaunt whatever it was he had with Hywel in front of him, mindful and delicate for the first time in his life. This affair, he didn't feel the need to brag to the world about, and certainly not to Shadedsun. As he'd looked over at his dark fur in the close, quiet warmth of the den, over all the sleeping bodies of their clanmates, his heart had ached with worry.
Now, on that warm evening, Doefreckle poked his head into the gloom of the warriors' den and asked softly, "Shadedsun? Would you like to go for a walk?"
Since he had come back, he had spent most of his time alone. Taking in the world around him, thinking and worrying until his head span. There were so many questions, so little answers. He had hardly slept. After a bit, he had settled in a forced apathy, pushed his negative emotions down and decided to start coming out of his shell more. He had felt bad, half avoiding Doefreckle, too scared to approach him again. To talk to him. They'd met eyes, once or twice, from across the camp, only to immediately look away. Shaded had seen his lingering glances, pretending not to notice.
It was dark. Quiet, save for distant crickets chirping their song. The questions he usually ignored throughout the day had sprung up on him again, as he lay near still in his nest pretending to sleep. Maybe it was the environment. A rustling slightly off. A snore from behind. Too still, too hushed.
Shadedsun? Would you like to go for a walk? Shadedsun couldn't have avoided him forever, as much as he thought he could. He was honestly thankful that it had been Doe to be the one to reach out, instead of having to swallow his pride and hesitation to do it himself. He lifted his head, eyes stinging slightly from lack of sleep. "Huh?" He whispered back.
"Oh, yes, that'd be nice." A welcome distraction. He got to his paws, stumbling out as quickly as he can, dodging stray tails and paws.
Doe could have done the Doefreckle thing, could have diffused the tension of the quiet, full of things unsaid, with charmingly boyish babbling or aimless smiles sure to crack a smile. But he didn’t. He let the silence carry, let himself stay genuine and worried and afraid. It was hard, but so was healing. So was being better. He took a step back as Shaded bumbled out of the warriors’ den, raising his muzzle to meet his gaze with a small, soft smile. Tilting his head silently towards the camp entrance, he led the way across the sun-warm soil, weaving around cats soaking up the last of the heat in the humid, dew-y evening air, and sharing tongues in the birdsong quiet, and tending to the little garden outside Ratstar’s beech den that Sunpetal had been overseeing. It was an odd feeling, to know he fit in here better now than he had when he was leader. For the first time, he felt these were his clanmates, that he knew the sight and names of each of them, that they cared about him and he about them. He felt like he had a place in SummerClan, like it was truly his home. It made his heart ache with a wistful sort of happiness; he’d spent his whole life searching, and now here it was, offered to him so quietly, with no fight and no pain.
Slipping through the tunnel trailing with leaves and flowers, Doe took a moment to just stand there, breathing in the sweet SummerClan air and looking up at dark sky. All around them, from the tree-line not far from camp, nature sounds drifted in the stillness. Glancing up at Shadedsun, he started to limp in the vague direction of a place he knew, between camp and the sea. He let the silence stretch for a long time; somewhere along the way, he gave up the pretence of putting weight on his broken paw and held it up from the ground, limping along on three legs. He never let anyone see him do that, except maybe his brother before he died - not Hywel, not even Chim; he felt a gentle longing for his brother at the thought of him. It was a vulnerable thing, to give up his vanity. But he wanted to be vulnerable with Shadedsun.
As they made their way through the summer-orange fields, the earth warm beneath their paws and the first of the stars starting to shimmer in the sky, Doefreckle finally looked up at Shadedsun and murmured softly, “how have you been feeling?”
The silence was tough, it was long and it hung heavy. Uncomfortable, even. A while ago, it would have been different. They would have filled the silence with something, a cute laugh or a joke or even, during the bad times, a scathing remark. But it was different now. Softer, slower, quieter. Everything he'd wanted it to be, and he still wasn't happy. There were a few soft murmurs in camp, coming from those trying to settle down for the night. Conversations with clanmates he had been trying to avoid since he walked into camp after over a year's absence.
He blinked. They were outside of camp. He hadn't even noticed they had gotten this far, his thoughts too distracting. He wanted to live in the moment more, not get lost in his own head. How have you been feeling? A spark of conversation, he was reaching out.
"Oh, it's been good!" He shouldn't lie, but it was so difficult to figure out how he was actually feeling most of the time. He hardly remembered. "Well, alright," he offered instead. It's been bad. It's been lonely. I've been lost. All things he wanted to say, but couldn't find the words. This, he supposed, was a step in the right direction. A white light, to make room for truth later on.
Doe gazed up at Shaded as he limped along beside him, eyes sad and worried, wondering whether to push the issue. Finally, he decided he had to. “I’m not important, my darling,” he replied quietly, the term of endearment as fragile as the summer breeze, to be taken as friendship or love or anything in between. “If there’s anyone you can talk to about what you’re going through… well, it’s unfair that it’s me, but I do understand. You don’t need to be alright. No one is expecting you to be. And I know it’s always been hard for you to put yourself first, to take careful of yourself - we have that in common, God knows - but in this, you need to. If… if it’s about closure, about… letting go,” he struggled to say the words, like they pained him, but he tried his best not to let Shadedsun see, “of the past, of me, then I can…”
He trailed off - it was one thing to be selfless; it was another to willingly offer himself up to be let go of and walked away from. Chim had done that very thing for him, but he’d had a mate to return home to, life and love, and he’d had two years to get used to the idea of Doefreckle being gone, even if there was still anger and grief that had needed to be laid to rest. But letting go of Shadedsun… The prospect filled him with desperate fear, desperate sadness. But he swallowed it down for Shadedsun’s sake. “I can help with that, too. Whatever will let you be happy this time around. Because it’s what you deserve, Shaded.”
Almost without realising it, Doe had guided them to the place he’d been aiming for. It was a small, wild field, with summer-burned grass and warm earth and, at the centre, a broad, flat rock that rose a head or two above the dry grass. Doe led the way through the grass that reached as tall as his shoulder, leaving the rest of him in the open air, and, pausing to look back at Shadedsun like he was asking some question unknown even to himself, scrambled up sloppily onto the rock. It was still wonderfully hot from the sun and he sat uncertainly for a moment, shoulders hunched and tail wrapped nervously around his forepaws, before finally, with another look up at Shadedsun, settling down and letting himself stretch out on his side a little stiffly, like he felt guilty even about letting himself be comfortable, with his forepaws together and his head and shoulders still upright. Above them, the sky was a beautiful black-blue, Silverpelt - the Milky Way, Doe corrected himself with quiet sadness, steering himself away from traditional StarClan terms - stretching out endlessly and twinkling so bright it lit up the dark field and the pelts of the two cats lying beneath it. He remembered how central the moon and stars, the darkness, had been to him as a NightClan cat. That all seemed very far away now, and yet, at the same time, as near as yesterday, like he’d spent his whole life trying to untangle himself from the monotony of his birth Clan, his old life. Like he could still reach out and draw back the curtain and there he’d be again, in the NightClan apprentice den.
Drawing in a breath, Doe lowered his eyes from the stars and met Shaded’s gaze, continuing on quietly from his earlier promises. Not thinking about the action as he spoke, he tilted his broken paw to better soak up the soothing warmth; it always hurt after walking, but Vulturemalice had said heat was good for calming it, when a cold stream couldn’t be found to stand in. “Anything you want to say to me, or want me to say to you - anything you need out in the open so we can set it free, I’ll do it. Or if… if you just want to talk about dumb things and forget the world, or watch the stars, or feel alive, I’ll do that all, too.” Maybe he sounded guilty, like he was trying too hard to make up for all the things he’d done. Maybe he just sounded like he loved the tom, the friend, sitting in front of him. He hoped, faintly and anxiously and sadly, that it was the latter.
Doefreckle was wrong, so unbelievably wrong. He was nearly everything to Shadedsun, as unhealthy as it sounded. They had had a family together, as broken as it became. Nearly a life, nearly love. Shaded didn't want to talk about himself, he was sick of thinking about himself, tired of himself and his emotions and fears and hurt. He wanted to settle down and focus on something--someone--else. A distraction. "I'm not. . . sure. I think it's both of those. Not you, though, I don't think I could." He was going backwards, it seemed, come back to a changed world only to lag behind. A cycle.
It's what you deserve. He said nothing, let the silence carry on and be consumed by thought. He followed Doe, his navigation had struggled since he got back, but he was doing a bit better now than before. He climbed up the rock beside him, sat himself closer than he had before, not bothering to look down at him. "I just want you to be you. That's what I need. Just, just Doefreckle." He didn't like their energy nowadays. Too forced, too awkward, it carried the weight of a past he would rather forget, of guilt and hesitation. It felt wrong. Off-putting.
"Can we just be us, even if it's just for tonight?" He wanted to be young and stupid and in love again. Where his only concerns lie in his new position as leader. As much as he hated himself at the time, he missed being Shadedstar. So stupid, trying his best to be hopeful and optimistic, to help his clan back on their feet. He recalled stepping down, too unsure of what he was doing and all too scared to mess up. He remembered leaving, for Doestar and their remaining kits, only to be brought down from an already low point. Tonight, he wanted to forget all that. Put it behind him, ignore it, let it come up later. That was a problem for future Shadedsun, who may be better equipped to handle it.
Not you, though, I don't think I could. Doe smiled over his shoulder at Shaded, but the smile was small and sad. He wondered if he could even see it. Where once the thought of holding the sort of sway over someone else would have filled with him powerful contentment, relief, like he had his claws on someone's life and they couldn't shrug him off even if they wanted to, now it just filled him with quiet worry. He was so grateful for Shaded's love - god only knew how grateful he was - but the way the black tom spoke about it now sounded like it wasn't a choice. Like he would have rather not loved him. That grief for himself and concern for Shaded made his chest clench and his insides spin. How had everything become such a mess?
Him. The answer was him. He'd done this. He'd taken someone beautiful, someone kind, someone sweet as life, and turned him into fear and guilt and sorrow. Death had something to do with it, yes, but if Doe had been better when they were both still alive, coming back wouldn't be so difficult for Shaded. He'd have had love and kindness waiting for him, would have known it.
But had he done this? He hadn't felt for Shaded what Shaded had felt for him - was that villainy? Was it evil to have your heart set on someone else when your best friend was pining for you? Maybe not to us, but to Doe, who never would have questioned it in the first place, he was undisputedly in the wrong and would continue to hold himself accountable for it, for any change in Shadedsun. He was wracked with grief and guilt - dark, terrible, endless grief, like the sea. His genuine cruelties - everything he'd said on the mountainside - blended with imagined ones until everything was heaped together, an accidental hurt comparable to the most brutal words. All of it Doefreckle's fault.
He'd never been very good at separating small feelings from big ones.
Just, just Doefreckle. He smiled at Shadedsun again, but all he could think was you don't want him. He caused this.
Can we just be us, even if it's just for tonight? Just us. Lying there on the warm rock, with the night around them and Shadedsun's earnest wish filling the warm, quiet air between them, Doe smiled softly. He let out a breath and all the pain went with it. On that summer's night, they could let go of all the suffering and be new again. Be young. His heart ached, but this time it ached with warmth, with the lightness of it. They would be alright. They would get through this. They were Doefreckle and Shadedsun, Doestar and Shadedstar, Freckles and Shaded - they could do it. They could find their way back to each other. They could heal.
"Yeah," he breathed, eyes crinkling up around his smile as he gazed at Shaded; a soft purr seeped out into the night air. Slowly, Doe lowered himself onto his side, the length of his back pressed against Shadedsun's side, the back of his head nestled against his long, thick fur. He tilted his head slightly against the stone and looked up at the black tom, eyes glistening in the starlight. It was a question as much as it was love - is this okay? "I could try to be the old Doefreckle," he whispered, voice hardly more than a breath. "But I hope the new one is a bit better. Same dumb chatter, a little more kind." He smiled up at Shadedsun, and somehow, somewhere out in the star-lit dark, it felt like a new beginning.
The Doe he'd become was quieter, more withdrawn, more afraid and more serious - but it wasn't precisely by choice. He just hadn't had the chance to chatter and babble on since getting back, hadn't had the chance to find out if that part of himself still existed. He hoped it did. He'd already formed more genuine connections by being more earnest, by letting himself be vulnerable, but he did miss the careless joy of his old self. It had been artificial then, much of it; maybe this time it didn't have to be. He'd thought healing had to be chipping the bad bits of himself away. Maybe it could instead be a perfect meeting point of things he didn't want to get rid of, things he loved about himself, and things he wanted to be. Maybe it could be a joyful thing.
But I hope the new one is a bit better. Same dumb chatter, a little more kind. "Mhm," he tried to add a lightness to his tone; despite the mess of his mind and the nervous weight in his stomach, he tried to be happier, sound a little younger, less worn. Tried to feel it too. It had gotten dark, he could tell that much. He'd missed this, this special feeling of closeness he got with Doefreckle, something he'd never really felt with anyone else. He liked feeling completed, needed, loved and adored. If he was loved by someone else, maybe he could learn to love himself. Maybe he wouldn't have to put the work in, maybe it would just click one day, where he could honestly, truly say yes, I love me.
"A walk?" He nodded his head forwards, turning to look down at Doefreckle. He wished he could see him. He leaped from the rock, landing in the grass below with a rustle. It tickled. He turned back around, waiting expectantly for Doefreckle, nearly forgetting about his paw. He always tended to rush, forget the small details and focus on the bigger picture. The outcome, the future. A nasty habit when it came to his anxiety, never thinking about the now and always thinking about the when--post past and future. When he did this, when he said that, when this happens, when that. It was exhausting, becoming most prominent at night to create a mostly sleepless night and a tired morning.
Doe swallowed back an exasperated breath, a prickle of annoyance, helpless and hopeless and frustrated, unfurling to scratch at his chest. Shadedsun had never been particularly chatty, not like he himself had been, but he'd been warm, and whatever he had said hadn't been forced like this. He'd been happy back then to take the lead with anyone, to be the one to arrange everything and not ever expect that someone would do the same for him - well, as happy as someone could be like that. Now, since coming back, he'd been trying to stay away from that habit and see what happened, and having to do it now... it was just wearing him down. He wasn't as happy to settle for scraps as he had been back then.
But that was selfish, and Shadedsun was trying, and it would take time, and he could handle it. He could wait for Shaded to find himself, or his new self, and come back out of his shell.
When he suggested a walk, despite having just lain down, Doe raised his head and looked up at him with a smile, letting out a warm hum to signal his agreement. No matter that this night would likely end up the same as the one in the cherry blossom gardens (minus the ill-fated love confession - or was it ill-fated?), with his paw burning from overuse; he'd put up with it. He bowed his head to follow Shadedsun down with his eyes, still wearing that same sweet, cheery smile; he didn't let it fall even when Shaded was turned away from him on the ground, though it twitched at the edges and he longed to drop it and glare out of the corner of his eye. He wouldn't let himself be grumpy and bratty. This wasn't about him. This was about Shaded. He had to support him. It was his honour to do so. To love him through it.
"Do you know your way around well enough to take me on a walk?" Doe teased, dropping down beside Shadedsun in a slightly messy, poorly-balanced tangle of paws and smiling up at him. God, this was tiring.
The feeling still wasn't quite right. It didn't feel as mystical as that night in Springclan. It wasn't as warm, as comfortable, something wasn't clicking and they were left with broken pieces now. Pieces they had to try and put back together, build up again. The cracks lined with gold, better and prettier than before. But it seemed impossible, in the moment. There was too much they couldn't push down, couldn't ignore or cast aside for another day. Shadedsun tried, how he tried.
He hummed, halfway a laugh, "Well--no, but maybe that's better. I'll take us wherever, let instinct guide the way." He never got used to Summerclan territory before he died, too busy cooped up in his own little corner in camp. The same corner he tended to go back too, even now. Maybe he should move spots. A part of him wanted to take Doefreckle into Springclan territory instead--a stupid idea, considering he wasn't apart of Springclan anymore, and probably couldn't bring himself to cross the border. Not yet.
Hesitantly, he gave Doefreckle a small, gentle nudge. Physical affection, something he had been avoiding. He was forcing it, and he knew that. He was being too false, and despite thinking his walls were coming down, he was only building more up. He didn't know where to start, and feared that once he started talking, he may never stop.
"Uhh," he turned in a circle, fixing himself in a random direction and going ahead. Slightly, stopping a bit further away to allow Doefreckle to catch up, "this way?" Maybe he could try and ignore it again, the wrongness of it all.
Let instinct guide the way. Maybe that’s all they had to do. Not try; just be. Doe smiled up at Shadedsun when he nudged him, and for the first time that night the smile was truly genuine, truly soft and bittersweet; it was a small thing, but the care Shaded took to not hurt him despite his far greater size, the familiarity with each other’s bodies and vulnerabilities that still echoed between them even after all these years, made him feel close to Shaded and incredibly relieved, like he could let out a breath - that wasn’t gone, and if that was still here, other things could be as well.
Doe waited patiently as Shadedsun turned in a circle, all his tension from a moment ago melting into the warm summer air; he visibly relaxed, just standing there purring quietly with his tail-tip twitching like they had all the time in the world. And they did. This time, they did. A minute earlier, Doe had been envisioning a moment later that night where Shaded finally gave into the unbearable awkwardness between them, where he drew them to a halt and Doe burst out with Oh, thank God and slumped down on the ground like the weight of pretending had been taken off his chest, all his politeness evaporating in an explosion of genuine crassness, because this was all wrong and who were they fooling themselves to think they could fix it. Now, with a new, peaceful, unhurried hope blooming in his heart, he thought they had a chance of avoiding that.
This way? Doefreckle let out a purr, chin tucked into his throat as he looked at Shadedsun fondly. The other tom always was a bit of a bumbling apprentice, a soul too meek in a body too big; Doe had always loved that about him. “Sure,” he purred, and there was indulgent laughter in it. He trot-limped over to join Shadedsun and nudged him along with a nudge of his forehead against the black tom’s jaw. “Shaded, just relax,” he told him, and for the first time his voice was light and easy and quiet, no acting necessary. “We don’t have to be 100% comfortable with each other straight away. We haven’t talked to each other in two years - we have to… find a new rhythm that works for us, because I don’t think going back to the old one is gonna be feasible. Being in love with each other doesn't mean other stuff can't get out of place. But even though the details of us have changed, the big stuff hasn’t. We’re still us. We’ll find our way back. Just let it happen.” He smiled up at Shaded, and it was genuine. He stepped closer mid-trot and tilted his head to touch his forehead to the other tom's shoulder, light and loving and without any expectation. Playful.
A part of him wanted to move away from the touch, to recoil, but he stayed. And he didn't regret it, not really. Shaded continued on, leading Doe carefully across a few slippery rocks, shaking the the river water from his paws on the other side. Springclan had their fair share of rivers and streams and little pools--and despite how much he hated it, seeing them strewn about Summerclan gave him a sense of familiarity. He thought of the night he toured his old territory with Doefreckle. Their night.
Here they were, touring a different territory this time, going wherever their paws took them, and Doe was talking about how they didn't need to be comfortable, how much things had changed. He wanted to say something, but he hesitated, decided to chose his words carefully. We’re still us. They were, and they were so complicated. Painfully so.
"I'm just. . ." He could feel Doe again, his touch so familiar yet foreign all the same. ". . . A bit scared." He stated, moving forward a bit. The breeze was gentle, bringing scents of flowers and pollen and a slight sea tinge. It was difficult to fathom life moving on without him. The world seemed it had stopped, and for him it had, but everyone had moved on. Their seeds bloomed into beautiful new flowers, and his were left to wilt.
"Did you ever feel like it's all--like it's all too much? And too confusing, when you came back?"
Doe waded through the shallow stream; since his morning with Hywel in the sea, he'd grown more comfortable with swimming, with water - he was always searching for new sensations. He slipped out on the other side, his legs, belly and lower chest fur dark and slick with water, and gave each of his paws a dainty little shake, scattering droplets onto the flowers. Then he trot-limped after Shadedsun, feeling slightly more hopeful. I'm just... a bit scared. He smiled up at Shadedsun, eyes soft with sympathy and understanding.
"Of course I did," he replied. "The first cat who found me was Ratstar. You'd at least given up your leadership when you died - I hadn't. I was still thinking of myself as Doestar, of SummerClan as my Clan, and then suddenly I was faced with... a really terrible way to find out I wasn't. Well, that's not fair. Ratstar was unbelievably nice about it - I say a lot of bad things about him but he really was so lovely. If it had been anyone else, I think I would be in a much worse place now. But no, yes, point is - it was all too much. Life had gone on without me. Chim had a mate, Beetuft was gone - most of SummerClan were strangers, and the few I'd known back then just... couldn't reconcile me being there at the same time as Ratstar. The territory had changed, someone else was sleeping in my den, my brother was dead, you were... I didn't think I'd ever feel calm again, let alone happy. But it got better for me." He looked up at Shaded. "It'll get better for you." His eyes grew dark, with sorrow, with resentment, with pain, his brows pushing together. "I don't know why StarClan would do it to you. You've never done a thing wrong. There's never been anyone kinder."
"At least I have you--and, it sucks you had to go through that alone." He felt a little better, knowing there was someone who knew what he was feeling. The grip of isolation slipped a bit. I don't know why StarClan would do it to you. You've never done a thing wrong. There's never been anyone kinder. Shadedsun could disagree. He'd done his own fair share of damage. Doefreckle wasn't with him in the time before his death, a time he regrets the most. Grief could do terrible things to a person.
"Starclan's always been cruel." He couldn't let go of his disdain for them--he had trusted them, maybe a little too much. They'd taken his family, then him, and didn't even let him in. He would have assumed they didn't exist, after all this, had it not been for any first hand experiences. In his opinion, that made them a little worse. They couldn't hide in obscurity, in question and doubt.
"Oh, and I'm sorry about your brother. I'm sure he was nice." An attempt at condolences. He wondered if his sisters were alive--he hadn't so much as heard from them since he left. Springclan was probably different as well, and even though it wasn't his home anymore, there was still a part of him that held it close to his heart.
"Mm," Doe hummed quietly - to his comment about having him or going through it all alone, to StarClan's cruelty, to his condolences for his brother, for all of those or for none of them - gazing at Shadedsun and giving him the smallest smile. "Doesn't matter now," he replied softly. "The past is done."
They were walking through a sparse copse of birches now, the ground covered with bluebells. The dusk air was warm and quiet, filled with chirping and thick with summer. Doe looked down at his paws as he limped along, becoming childishly distracted by the way the blue flowers bobbed and swayed around him, brushing so softly against his fur. It took a while before he realised he had started purring, occasionally doing little bounces or half dropping into a play crouch when he saw a cicada in the flowers, his tail sweeping from side to side like a kit's. When he did realise, he looked up, embarrassed, and stopped purring. "Sorry." The insides of his ears were hot pink. How had he ever been a leader, holding war and famine in his paws.
"So," he added, looking up at Shadedsun. "Where we going? The ends of the earth?"
Post by goldcrest on Sept 11, 2021 12:19:18 GMT -5
The past is done. It was only the now, it was simply Doe and Shaded and the quiet adventure that awaited them. It was tentative smiles and quiet words, bordered by trees and a breeze that carried the scent of flowers and pollen. It was laughing at his playfulness, his embarrassment soon after, reassuring that it was alright. It was just them, together, the past left behind and the future nothing but a distant thought.
Where we going? The ends of the earth? He purred, a deep yet gentle sound. "That'd be nice," there was something a little lighter in the air now as Shadedsun skipped ahead, "but no," The shade cleared a bit. The trees grew more sparse. The flowery scent grew stronger, the grass grew a little taller, tickling the hinds of his legs as he passed through it. "it's nothing much, honestly. We could pretend." If they imagined it was just them, that there wasn't much more beyond, than maybe it would be a bit better. For a little while, they could forget their issues, their past and their grief and their anxiety.
It may not be for long, but their time was enough. And maybe trying to forget it wasn't the best, maybe he should let it fester and hurt until it didn't any longer. The past is done, Doe had said, and Shaded would like to agree. Sometimes it still stung, and sometimes it kept him up at night, and sometimes he wanted to still avoid everyone and everything, ignore it all in hopes that it wouldn't hurt. It always ended up hurting more. So maybe he wouldn't forget the past, and the best he can do is move on.
Shadedsun had a bit more bounce in his step as he led them further towards the meadows.
(*collapses face down onto the pavement* i'm finally here!!!!)
"Oh my God!!" Doe panted as he lolloped behind Shaded, having to do that awkward little run of his that kind of looked like bunny-hopping to keep up with him. "Shaded!! Your legs! Are so long! Please, I'm small, slow down, have mercy." He suddenly flopped down in a random spot, a slight hillock in the meadows with a clear, perfect view of the endless expanse of black sky and the thousands of bright white, blinking stars. "This is good enough. I'm done. I'm sorry." He melodramatically flung his good paw over his eyes, his chest rising and falling rabidly. But his voice, despite its breathlessness, was happy and playful. "Oh my God."
Doe rolled onto his stomach, lying face down in the earth with the foreleg that had his broken paw splayed out at his side. "My paw hu-ur-ur-ur-urts," he sobbed theatrically, but there were no actual tears. He was just being a drama queen.