Thistlestar laid silently in his moss bed, his green gaze dull as it stared at nothing in particular. As instructed by the medicine cats, Thistlestar was confined to his moss bed for the day which that alone unsettled the rather active leader. Fawnheart checked in earlier in the day, providing the leader with some foul tasting herbs to help calm his nerves, but the mixtures only left the leader with a feeling of tiredness as his mind wrestled passionately again his body. Every fiber of his being just wanted to rest, but his mind couldn't stop replaying last night's events...

The leader's brows furrowed deeply and the images of the water flashed across his vision. His chest tightened as he remembered the burning session of his lung's futile attempts for air as he was tossed around the shocking cold water. A small pang in his chest partially brought the leader back to the present time, his eyes blinking rapidly as he attempted to refocus at the nothingness he was staring at earlier. There was an uneasiness now in the air around the leader. Knowing deep down in his heart of hearts he had lost his first life last night unsettled him more. The idea that life could be taken at any point and so quickly. He couldn't help but count his lucky stars for the chance at life again, but at the same time, he couldn't help but struggle with the realization. It was harder knowing he was at this alone. There were no other leaders near by that could help guide him through the emotions of this, no one around him to have died and come back to tell the tale except him.

His heart raced as he suddenly thought of Beedust. Everything in him longed to see her again, to smell her comforting scent, but a small pang of uneasiness kept him from reaching out. How would he face her without winning the battle that raged within in? She knew him far too well for him to be able to hide away the conflict within him. There was a deep level of trust between the two that Thistlestar had never felt for anyone else in his life, but there was something painful in admitting this to his secret mate. He didn't want her to worry, he didn't want her to be scared and most importantly, he didn't want her to lose faith in his ability to protect her...

And as if she had heard his heart, Beedust entered his den, her smile radiating as she entered. Thistlestar's drained gaze looked up to meet her bright, honey colored gaze and he couldn't help but return the smile. Despite the sudden relief and warmed the sight of Beedust gave him, there was still a pang of restlessness in him as a small voice in his mind reminded him of last nights' events. His smile faltered in that moment.

"Bee..." He spoke up, his voice cracked slightly, surprising even himself. With the exception of a few small words exchanged to Fawnheart during her examination, the leader had not spoken since their return to Springclan camp.

Thistlestar snicked softly. Tired was an understatement, but he didn't want to have to admit it out loud to Bee, but he was confident that she already knew that. The leader was sure she was just being kind to him in her outward observation of him.

"I'm..." He stopped in his words. Instincts urged him to minimize the situation for the sake of reassuring Bee, but a small voice told him he knew better than to hide everything fro Beedust. She would call him out eventually the longer he hid behind a mask of calm. "I'm feeling grateful that we were victorious in stopping the flood." He admitted calmly, looking up at her. "We were able to hold up for a bit before a group of cats tried to stop us..." He stopped, his gaze drifting off back towards the entrance, but not directly at the entrance. It was distant, trapped in fresh memories.

A ginger pelt covered his distant, unfocused gaze, causing his green orbs to shift back onto Beedust, whose's gentle touch brought a smile across Thistlestar's stern expression. There was something powerful in such a small, yet comforting gesture. The fear that had begun to creep in the leader slowly began to melt away as he looked into Beedust's honey glazed eyes which held so much concern. He knew in that moment, had Bee been in a position like his own, he would have wanted her to tell him. The realization made the dusty tom exhale deeply, in one last push through his fear before he continued. "When a cat takes on the responsibility of a leader, Starclan grants them 8 more lives. These lives are given to the leader to be given to their clan in times of need." He explained thoughtfully, remembering that Beedust was still in the process of learning the clan ways.

Thistlestar paused for a moment, his fear once again gripping his tongue, but Bee's thoughtful gaze brought forth his courage once again and he proceeded. "A group of cats, both clan-born and non-clan cats worked together to allow the flood to happen. They wanted a fresh start, a new world. It was anarchy, but they did not succeed in their plans... but they caused fatalities." Thistlestar's brows furrowed at the reminder of Flamingstar's lifeless body and the moments his own life flashed away into darkness. Out of respect he chose to leave the Nightclan leader's own experience out of his explanation, but he could not help but take a moment of silence in respect for her before proceeding with the story. "I-I" The tom stumbled on his words, clearing his throat deeply in a small bought of shame before continuing, his voice much more firmer and harsher "In the blockage, some of us held up a log that largely redirected the floods while others worked hard to reinforce it." At this point, the leader's gaze began to fall away from Bee's and down to the moss bed below him "I was so focused on everyone who was working on the reinforcement of the log that I did not realize another cat come behind me and knocked us both in the way of the floods, in attempt to stop the blockade." It was here a large lump got caught in the cat's throat, causing the leader to stop speaking.

Hearing Beedust speak the words he dreaded to speak himself maybe his stomach flip. His stern expression hardened as he turned his head to look into Bee's eyes. His head felt suddenly very heavy as he slowly nodded in confirmation, but he could not make a sound. His steely green gaze search in Bee's expression for some emotion. There was some relief that he didn't have to say the words out load again, but hearing his own mate speak them for him... it made it much more disappointing for him.

He leaned into Bee, ripping his gaze away from hers with shame. He couldn't find anything else to say to lessen the burden of the truth. All he could find himself doing was leaning into Beedust's comforting pelt, and praying she wasn't disappointed in him.

Hearing those three words made the leader melt, exhaling deeply as he nuzzled his head under Beedust's chin, enveloping himself into her comforting scent. "I love you too." The words were muffled by Beedust's ginger pelt. He sounded like a child, pressed up against his mother again complaining about his day. The realization made him more embarrassed, causing him to press harder into the she-cat's chest in attempt hide away his shame. As embarrassing as he felt, his uncharacteristic actions were silly enough to make him chuckle into Bee's pelt. "I'm sorry." He pulled away, his crooked smile giving away his feelings. Thistlestar's green gaze veered off for only a moment before finding the courage to meet Beedust's gaze, growing more serious the longer he stared. "I am just... grateful to be back." He breathed, his eyes bright with emotion as he took in his mate's expression.

Thistlestar looked down in a small moment of embarrassment. He had not realized how open and vulnerable he had been up until this point and he couldn't help but think back in wonder. It had come so natural for him to open up to Bee since the moment they met. Maybe it was because she was an outsider, with no preexisting judgement of him based on his half-clan status or even his position. Maybe it was because she was so blunt with him since the get-go, so effortlessly. Or maybe it was simply because he loved her. The thought made him smile to himself.

Hearing her speak up suddenly drew his attentive gaze back onto hers. He stared in a moment of confusion as he noted her rambles. It was unlike Bee to lose control of her words. The sight worried the leader and his expression drew more serious as the words progressed from Bee's mouth. At the words "I was feeling under the weather-" Thistlestar's heart sank and a fear shocked his body for a moment. He could feel his heart racing at the immediate though of his mother who said similar words before falling ill to Black Cough. A chill ran down his spine in that moment and his gaze hardened as he watched Bee with such intensity before her next words snapped him out of his trance. Pregnant.

His stern expression melted into one of disbelief. "Wait-" he breathed, his narrowed eyes wide and bright "You're really preg-" He stopped, breathless as he stared into Beedust's eyes. His mind began to wander to further into the future. He never discounted the idea of having a family of his own, but he didn't realize it would happen so soon. His green orbs glistened with emotion, glassy from the threat of tears. The world had grown so much smaller, the weight of the world on his shoulder so much lighter. "I'm going to be a father?" He asked, his deep voice soft and breathy as he searched for a confirmation he already knew was there.

The she-cat's confirmation hit him with a new wave of numbing content. Thistlestar laughed a breathy, shaky laugh as Bee nuzzled into his shoulder, his green orbs wide and bright with awe as his mind began to wander to the picture of his family. It was an odd feeling to do so. He always envisioned having a family of his own, but the images were so general and vauge, but now with Beedust's announcement made the image so much more clearer and vivid.

Lost in a sea of beautiful and exciting images, Thistlestar remained relatively quiet before he the full weight of the news hit him. "We are going to be a family." He suddenly spoke, his voice rising with raw emotions as he pulled back, rising to his paw quickly. His body ached at the suddenness of his actions, but he ignored it as he began to pace in the large den. "You are going to be a mother- and I a father." He stated with excitement, finally meeting Beedust's honey colored eyes. "We are going to be a family." He breathed, finally stopping in his tracks fully face his mate.

The sight of Beedust brought Thistlestar back down from the clouds as he began to reign in his excitement. "How long have you known?" He asked carefully "How long are you along?"