Half in her own reverie and not having noticed the tom, she near jumped when she noticed he was about to run into her. About the same time as the tom was apologizing, she dropping her prey as she naturally shifted backwards, shaking slightly, the reaction a naturally defense mechanism against a random cat who seemed to show up out of nowhere, only for her to realize a second later it was just her clan-mate. It was a bit more paranoid than any normal cat should have reacted in that situation, and she seemed to realize that fact rather quickly, seeming slightly mortified at her own display of cowardice, which had now shifted into an introverted embarrassment over the situation. "N-no, it's fine." She said, more defensively than with any sort of forgiveness, as if she figured he instead was going to mad at her. Her gaze then fell down to the mouse, no probably bruised, which laid at her paws, and part of her worried if picking it up would just make the situation more awkward.

She finally got the shaking to stop right when he asked her if she was okay, and not able to summon any words into her throat, merely gave a small nod of her head. She wasn't really, she was pretty badly shaken which, so long as the tom had eyes to see, was pretty easy to notice. Sometimes she wondered if her entire life would consist of having rather traumatic experiences from situations every other cat in the clan seemed to just take in stride.

She had almost gotten herself back to feeling normal when of course the tom had to introduce himself. It sent warning lights flashing in her head. Introductions meant greetings, and greetings meant conversations, and conversations were a form of social interaction which scared her more than almost anything. Why were these cats so friendly? Once again she found herself realizing she ought to be thankful to be surrounded by such gentle-hearted and amiable cats, and once again she found herself realizing that she wasn't thankful, and was instead bitterly terrified by that fact. Why did every cat here assume she could hold a conversation, or wanted to? It was the culture. They were suppose to be family. But all too often Diamondcascade felt like the out of touch in-law who only stuck around because she had no where else to go. Maybe that was how it really was. Or maybe she was just paranoid. Who knew? Who even really cared?

Still, she faked an friendly smile on her face, letting it gently wrap her still slightly shake features. She'd gotten good at pretending to look friendly and casual like everyone else at least, even if she hand't actually got the hang of being either of those things. "Oh, uh... It's nice to meet you. I'm Diamondcascade." The reply was barely above a gentle whisper that she practically had to force out of her throat, but it held a facade of amiability that at least made her seem somewhat approachable.

(oh, no, don't worry about it, it's fine xD i have a tendency to write way too much, i honestly wish i was better at summarizing myself. it also takes forever and wears me out too fast. it's less dedication to the craft of writing and more of a problem of me getting an artsy inspiration and going way too far cx)

At first there was the feeling of relief. He was just going to leave? What a miracle! What a lucky day! "O-okay, see you around!" She said politely, picking up her mouse and backing into camp slightly nervously, but with a certain skip to herself. Free from a conversation, free from having to fake being comfortable and social! It was like escaping a prison cell, she couldn't even describe the sort of high the was flowing through her veins.

But then, as she, with a small, slightly embarrassed smile on her, set her prey down on the pile, it hit her like a wall. Oh god. He probably though she was weird. That she was an anti-social freak. He'd probably go telling everyone else that she was a weird loner, re-affirming every bad though that everyone likely already though about the shy loner that had just randomly shown up one day and kept to herself.

Her stomach did somersaults. For a moment she just froze, in the middle of camp, having a minor panic attack. It took her a moment, and a few odd glances, to snap her back into reality and to steal her resolve. She couldn't be the quiet weirdo living like an out-of-place nobody in the middle of an interconnected clan. She had to prove she wasn't an awkward, out of place loner with post traumatic stress disorder and a host of other mental disorders. She had to prove that wasn't true even if that 100% was the case. And so, in almost a trance-like state, she padded out the camp exit, following the tom's trail, numb from the onslaught of a panic-attack and feeling both untouchable and not even aware of the world around her. It was like sleep-walking with an impending sense of dread hidden under a thick sheet of blurred nothingness.

When she finally came upon the tom, she was sure she was going to feel her pulse race, the uncontrollable shaking and fear that normally wracked her entire body. But nothing came. Perhaps she had exhausted every primal sense of fear inside her. Perhaps her body was trying to mentally recover from that panic attack, making her completely despondent to a situation that normally would have left her completely unraveled. Perhaps both were equally true.

"Oh! I-uh, wasn't expecting to come across you again." The voice that lied didn't seem like her own, or at least, didn't feel like it. It felt hollow and distant from her body, and somehow made speaking to the tom easier. "But, uh, since we happened to run into each other again, would you like to hunt together?" The question was confident despite the fact that it was all an illusion. Everything felt dizzying and even nauseously numb, only a sense of what she wanted to do and an omnipresent feeling she only subconsciously recognized as being too deep in to quit.

"Okay. Did you have some place in particular you'd prefer to hunt?" The question was so oddly normal that she felt proud of herself. She couldn't believe she had managed to say something so completely harmless and inoffensive that actually seemed like correct small-talk, she didn't even fumble on her words! The numbness still surrounded her, a sort of near out-of-body experience that kept her distant, rating her own performance as if an outsider watching through a screen door. It probably wasn't that healthy of a feeling, and Diamondcascade was relatively sure she was in something akin to a full mental break-down, but at the very least it seemed to be improving her inter-personal skills.

( i did! my old username was Wrenpansy and i think we talked and role-played before on wiki, but i don't quite remember? i feel like we did a role-play between one of my cats and Frostcloud but it's been so long i can't tell if that's just my imagination cx)

Although still feeling that protective shield of distance, the tom's own indecisiveness about where to hunt managed to put a crack in her sense of absolute safety. The she cat was still relatively new to the clan, and although she had slowly grown more confident in her ability to trek through the territory, she was still consistently nervous over having to guide anyone through clan's land, of which she was still relatively unfamiliar with outside of the more routinely traveled paths. "I, uh, well... Where do you usually hunt?" Diamondcascade asked, feeling the tone of slightly sheepish awkwardness return to her voice.