"No, I appreciated it." Reedshadow said matter of factly, "When you travel around to clans like I do, you can express things like that. But they're so indoctrinated in their system that they can only fight against anything else. It's heartbreaking, yet fascinating. Most will spend their days wiling away in their bubble, unaware that so much more exists outside of it. They're afraid of the unknown, the future, the reality that nothing truly matters. We are born, we live, we die. Simple. But they're so afraid that they'll build borders and camps and fight each other over them when really none of it matters." He kept straight, but continued to ramble despite that it was probably against character. It was rare someone had the same view point as him, "Borders only exist because cats are sent out to mark them, and they've been sent out for moons and moons and moons to do the same thing. We become so afraid of our things being taken, we never realize how freeing it can be to simply let them go. I was talking to a too serious for her own good Regime cat whe-"

He stopped, finally realizing he was rambling as well, "Sorry. Didn't quite answer your question." Sheepishly, he smiled a little, "Happy, hopefully. It reduces stress, helps calm nerves, promotes your mood." Numb the pain, forget the pain, forget everything. But he let those things go for now, "Yes. Yes I will." He couldn't help but stare at Doe's injured leg as he fretted about. It'd be a simple fix. Granted, he would have to break it again, and may get too much enjoyment out of that to let it heal properly. But Funk was sure if Doe stayed on his medicine, he'd let him.

(i can't believe i can say i've now made a philosophical stance on warrior cats and it's from funk of all cats lol and ilysm! hey, i was thinking we could maybe do a thread with bobbie and goldenpaw? they could bond over herbs and being cinnamon rolls. also got a femme fatale cat named disco who eshek may like?)

i wouldn't hurt you. you like that huh? shall i make you beg for my mercy?

He smiled a little, all teeth and no genuine feelings. Doefreckle wasn't phased by his ramble. The opposite, he seemed to like it. All good. Funk's fur fluffed up in the breeze. Spoiled sweet green eyes turned to Doefreckle, going over his leg and back to his face again. A rogue broke it? Just like that. Like it was nothing more than a twig underfoot. They made his job easy, sometimes too easy. Funk didn't mind working for his pleasure. Those broken would run to him and cry for help. And he'd get to smile and hang salvation over them, twirling above only held up by a spider's thread. A drop of water on the tongue, he never hurt. It would never hurt. So, of course he told Doe, "I would never hurt you like that, I promise." in the same spoiled sweet color his eyes were.

(okay, i had no specific plans and thought they'd just be fun together. if you think of something, let me know cause i'll probably be for it and yep ~~)

Reedshadow nodded, "I understand, it'll be fine."

After much walking and singing and mild annoyance, the pair entered the forest at the edge of Earthclan territory. Trees towering over them and the earth flat against their paws, Funk led the way, winding between fallen branches and hopping over stones. He moved with fluidity and grace, the exact steps having been done over and over before. Slipping through the brush, the two came to find a small grove. Mossy covered stones decorated it, with a small pool in the middle. A shallow cave was formed on the left side and the right side was an articulate mix of dirt, twigs and leaves to create a makeshift garden. Despite the summer heat, it was shaded and refreshing here. Funk purred a little, the day rolling off his shoulders as he went to check his plants.
"Come, come. Get comfortable." He only gave a glance back, letting Doe do what he wished for now.

(yes the build up is killing me! btw, you can make him experience any side effects you want from this medicine)

"Thank you and yes, we can." Least till Earthclan found his little slice of paradise and demanded it for their own. For now, they were fine. He kept his eyes low, but watched every step Doefreckle made in his garden. He was careful, Funk could tell, but he still couldn't take a chance, "Go lie down whenever you're ready." He pulled himself up into the garden, using it as leverage to propel himself out of the garden. It only took him a minute to come back with a mouse in his mouth. Extremely fast for someone who never stayed in one place, not that he would admit to feeding them. He placed the mouse down, darting around as he got his concoction ready. Catmint from a kittypet's garden, Feverfew stolen from Fallclan, Chamomile he got from a very special Dayclan cat, Juniper Berries grown right here and a secret ingredient. Once he hadn't had a chance to test yet. His heart thrummed in excitement as he stripped the herbs and made the small bit of medicine. Nothing here needed to be chewed up, so he didn't, presenting the ball and mouse to Doefreckle as they would appear otherwise. "Normally, I put the herbs in the mouse to help with the taste, and I still can, but I'll let you decide."

Funk could see it. The hesitation, the fear, the doubt, the silent begging to be excused. But he was cruel. And he has invested so much time into this, he had to get some reward out of it. So his gaze was warm and expectant, but also boring into his soul. He smiled as they went down, a content flick of the tail. Now the truly awful part, the waiting. It wouldn't take long, but it always felt like forever. He laid down outside the cave, the stone below him cooling off his stomach and paws. It appeared to be so he could give Doefreckle some space, but it was also so he could block him from leaving. There was no telling what would happen, that was the fun part. He smiled back, "Thank you. It'll take a minute for it to work. Just focus on the future and not on the now." Doe would hopefully remember that not only did Funk offer his happiness, but also himself. A rare treasure indeed.

(you already thought about the herbs more than me)

A gentle breeze blew over the grove. It was alarmingly quiet, only the rustle of the leaves and the slow dripping of water brought any sound. It was the definition of calming. For any other cat, they'd find themselves drifting to sleep. That wasn't the case now, not with these two. Despite the warmth, a small chill ran down Funk's spine. His heart threatened to beat out of his chest, rattling the cage of bones that only made him purr. Fur pricking on end, he puffed up as dopamine flooded his veins. His own symptoms paralleled Doefreckle's. The world spun and disintegrated. Everything felt like it was moving in fast forward, but also in slow motion. It was sickening, overwhelming, but so satisfying.

"I love you too." Funk lied, hastily noting everything Doefreckle did. Dizziness, confusion, perhaps nausea. It wasn't a complete lie at least, this was the Doefreckle he wanted to love, "Tell me something, dear. What do you want to be? How do you want to see yourself?" The waiting was the worst, yet the best. But he wanted to butter up Doefreckle. Maybe he'd let Funk break all his bones.

Funk's whiskers twitched as he listened to Doe with mild interest. Every cat and their siblings had something to spill, and it was always Funk who had to mop it up. And he never liked it, that wasn't his job. He got no satisfaction out of that. But he got the bits that were important. Love and Abuse. It was a strange relationship Doe had, but not unlike those he heard before. Nah, it's common for those who've went through it. They were strong, yet vulnerable. He'd feel bad for them if he was capable, but he wasn't. Funk would only come to when Doe stopped talking. A hush finally fell on the grove again.

"Everything yet nothing." Funk stood up, gently pushing Doefreckle off of him, "You really are something, you know? So desperate for affection you'll go to the ends of the earth. Wear your paws bloody walking. Abandon any friends or family. Get bit and scratched and ripped and thrown around. Slashes and punctures and tears and gashes and even more I can't think of. And for what? For love. A pitiful emotion. And then you laugh it off, think it'll never happen again and go right back to singing songs and dancing and whatever foolishness you get into. You're a mess. A disgusting, pathetic, absolutely awful. Heh heh, it's laughable easily, on just how you are. No wonder they hurt you." His voice rose and fell, thrashing like a waterfall, never ceasing. But then he stopped, and stooped down to Doe's level, "But you know what, Doe. I love you. Every hair on your body, every word you say. Despite it all, I love you. The you that followed that handsome tom to Brookclan, the you splashing around in the river like a fool, the you who sang so terribly my ears still hurt. And the you, who followed a bad cat again. So, I'd like to love you like you should be loved. Like you want to be." He stood up quickly, spinning to Doe's side and forcefully straightening the limp limb with his front legs.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BRO THANK YOU! You've been pushing me real hard to play tit for tat, so thank you for making that happen)

"Aww Doe. You (yoshi noise) it up." Funk let go of the leg, slapping it to the side and no doubt sending another wave of pain on Doe, "God, look at it. It's disgusting. And it's all your fault. Hah, just like you. Remind me to up the poppy seed dose next time." His question went unanswered, pleas given the cold shoulder. He left him writhing in pain, coming back shortly with a small pile of black seeds. Why? What a funny question. There was no why.

"Ahh. That was fun. So, how do you like to be abused? Tell me." He sat in front of the other, separating them, "Do you like having your head dunked underwater till you pass out? What about the feeling of having the flesh torn away from your skull? Ooh, can I scratch you bit by bit until you laugh?" The world was vivid. Lost in a delusion, too lost. Too in love, "Whatever you want! Whenever you want! I'm a slave to your passions. You've gotten what you wanted no? I love you so much, I feel like I'm gonna throw up. This is the worst and best I've ever felt in my laugh. So, come on! I got a pile of poppy seeds and a pile of foxglove seeds. Wanna test your luck? But even if you fail, I'll revive you. Every injury I will cure, every scar I will kiss, and then to inflict them all over again. So let's rock till we break!"

(sorry in advance for this imagery)

Funk smiled, humming a little tune as Doe started but then he suddenly stopped. I don't need this medicine. I don't need the medicine.

You don't need the medicine!
He pinned the other tom to the ground by the throat, anger like lava flowing through his veins. Claws pricking the skin, but no blood was drawn. He pushed slightly, listening to the wheeze that exited Doe's throat intensely. Suddenly, the features on his face started to dim. Where they once popped, the now faded. Funk released Doe's neck, his paws on his chest as the world came back into focus. The green of the grass wasn't as vivid, the sun didn't blind him. It was disappointing, harsh reality. Staring down at Doe, the only thing he could do was laugh. A deep, harsh, condescending laugh that bubbled up like a geyser before erupting into a frenzy. A crazed dance that didn't involve moving, the thrums of heartbeats as the music. The whole forest seemed to shake with his laughter, until it finally died down after what felt like an eternity. He hopped off, walking over his neat piles of seeds like they were nothing.

"Ah. Hmph. Were you not paying attention? Come on, is there anything between your ears?" His voice was harsh, back to reality as he gave Doe's head a quick shake before letting it go and continuing to circle the tom, "I love the you on my medicine. The you that's honest, and slurred and can barely stand on his own four feet. One that would give himself up to me entirely, without a second thought. But now you go and throw the perfect you away, my darling. You will wake into reality with nothing more than an even more twisted leg and another cat you'll see in the shadows. Is that what you want? I can make that disappear, you know. The world around you will be nothing more than a ripple on a puddle. Your worries, anxieties, fears, happiness, everything will dissipate into the water. Only I will remain with you at the top. Free to do whatever your heart decides." He had said this while dragging the other to the pond in the middle of the grove, stopping and staring at it's surface.

"The world is give and take. Nothing is free. You want my pain and love, you will eat my medicine. If you refuse, then kindly get the hell out of here. Cause if I see you again, I will tear every toe off your feet, then your feet off your legs, then you legs off your body, and unhinge your lower jaw and tear it out so you die a slow, painful and alone death."